this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It now costs $1 to own more than a billion dollars in assets for one *microsecond. We're talking total value here assets, property.

Bezos would be down to a billion in just over 2 days.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

1$ footlongs.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Raising a child.

That should cover like 90% of everything for everyone, even if you don't have kids.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

1 dollar children, I like that

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How is this hypothetical child being raised? Are we talking Capri sun here or Tropicana. Do they get an iPad?

Ipad is 2 dollars.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 97 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Henceforth, $1 shall cost $1. Inflation solved.

Does this one need a sarcasm tag? I don't like using em but this joke is going to start zero fun conversations

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 27 points 2 days ago (17 children)

Sarcasm acknowledged. If it were possible, what do you think the world would look like if inflation were 0% for a few decades? I hope this is a fun conversation. If not, I'll settle for another joke, amusing anecdote or icy silence with a judgmental stare.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 41 points 2 days ago (3 children)

if inflation were 0% for a few decades

"You obviously know nothing of how the real world works."

Was going to type a whole bullshit essay with random made up stats and facts to make your idle question look malicious and uninformed, but I just cant be arsed. Can we just pretend I was a cunt for mild chuckles?

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I can't believe you'd say that about OPs mother. Downvoted, reported, enjoy ur ban kid.

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[–] tromars@feddit.org 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bullshit essays for a joke are one of the few legit use cases for LLMs imo

[–] mobotsar@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Even bullshit essays should have a soul.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

I got the same macroeconomics education as a lot of people. I get why 2% inflation is a common target. I do, however, like thought experiments using extreme values.

I wouldn't say it's a particularly idle question by social media standards. Admittedly, that's a pretty low bar. Perhaps I am uniformed. I'm definitely not being malicious.

Can we just pretend I was a cunt for mild chuckles?

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I'd enjoy the topic at a less busy time of life. I'm being kept tired, distracted, and poor lately as a systematic form of oppressive totalitarian rule - and that's just from my kid!

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[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A dollar always costs one dollar. What changes is the price of goods.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Don't make me tap the sign

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Tapping the sign now costs $1.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

At least the sign only cost a dollar though.

Still worth it

[–] GlendatheGayWitch@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

The genie just made 1 US Dollar equal to 1 Australian dollar. One problem solved, another created.

[–] mushroomman_toad@lemmy.dbzer0.com 74 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] Nebula@fedia.io 49 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Economy killed in a single move. 😅

I'm putting a 100% tarrif on $1

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[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

Congrats, everything has doubled in price overnight.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Self actualization.

Boom, straight to the top, fuck you Maslow.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How does that work if I've still got a dead-end job though?

[–] plyth@feddit.org 1 points 1 day ago
[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 40 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

It now costs $1 to buy everything that a billionaire owns

[–] REDACTED 24 points 2 days ago (2 children)

US government for 1 dollar? Count me in

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

No thanks it's gone rotten

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[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 57 points 2 days ago (14 children)
[–] Una@europe.pub 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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[–] Genius@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Star Trek matter replicator (batteries included)

[–] this@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago

The cost of all stuffed animals at a thrift shop.

Then I could easily work on increasing the amount of rescues I will have. It's currently 1.5 rescue to 4 others ( purchased at a store, gift shop, gift, etcetera ).

My goal to someday have more rescues than store bought would be a little easier.

Oh yeah, and kids would have an easier time accessing them because $1 stuffed animals are a lot easier to convince a parent to buy than a $5.99 stuffed animal. But I don't like kids, so they were an afterthought!

[–] voodooattack@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

My smile. Time to make the world a better place.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago
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