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I have trouble looking at my life when things are bad, TBH, especially dull/isolated kind of bad. It is not pleasant to write.
Writing some fiction for the sake of writing (and weaving personal issues in) has actually lead to some insights, though. And maybe some feeling/reality processing going forward. And happiness.
And when things get better, I want to journal (which I have failed to make time for in the past).
Doing it daily,sometimes just a few words, sometimes longer reflections. It helps me sorting my feelings and seeing progress. It also helps to remember certain things from the past. I tested several apps and stick to the Dayone App that works on desktop and phone.
Then why am i borderline terrified and repulsed by journaling, despite many attempts to do it?
Are your negative feelings experienced when writing, when re-reading, or both? If it's just when rereading, try journaling and then immediately trashing it.
It's both. Writing is easier a bit but still cringe af
Did you cringe when writing these comments, or is it a different kind of writing that evokes negative feelings?
Comments are ok, as well as most of the technical documentation or stuff like that.
But the introspective, journaling writing is hardly bearable.
That's the type of thing that could be good to explore about yourself while journaling. You can ask yourself a question and start writing about why you think you might feel that way. It doesn't need to be "right" with certainty--just brainstorm and explore those ideas as they come out. At the end you might have a better understanding about yourself and why you might feel that way.
Appreciate the suggestion.
Unfortunately tried that too, doesn't work.
I don't like journaling. Or at least not on a regular basis. For the most part I use it to more or less bring the chaotic thoughts into order and make them somewhat comprehensible. It helps me with not losing thoughts and talking about them with my therapist. Worked quite good so far, even though there are some things in there that were very hard to admit to myself, write down and even harder to speak out loud to my therapist. But I think that's what it's about in order to make a real change.
All the time, going back to 2009 or so.
I've been journalling since 2015 now, but I often have trouble really writing about the bad stuff. It feels like I often don't want to write it out to not give it more power.
