this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2025
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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I get the point but...

When you're a woman and well over 100kgs, don't complain about your doctor telling you that you need to lose weight.

It's not sexism

It's not discrimination based upon your weight

Nobody is telling you that you're ugly

It's not a macho thing where only skinny women are desirable

It's about your life, how long it will last and how much you'll be able to enjoy it. It's about your own health, please listen to your doctor and try to lose weight.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 6 points 1 day ago

That's not what OP is criticizing, heavy women come to the doctor with genuine health issues (which may be exacerbated by weight), and instead of addressing the actual problem, the doctor just tells the pt it's caused by weight.

[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 day ago

Clearly Bipolar.

[–] JokeDeity@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

There's also catchall terms used for things they still don't really understand, like fibromyalgia.

[–] IvyisAngy@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

Oooh that hits.

I went to a doctor for a refill on ear infection medication. That's right a REFILL, for something that had been previously diagnosed by another doctor. I told him this, so many fucking times.

Nope. I had Covid.

"Sir, I just need a refill."

He just screamed at me, in broken English. "NO, YOU HAVE COVID. GO!"

I did not have Covid. I didn't even have a cough, a sneeze, or anything. My ear was in pain, and I couldn't hear hardly at all... and yah know... it was fucking bleeding.

I did not get the medication he prescribed me. I got ear drops from behind the counter and took allergy meds and then hopped for the best.

Brother, you didn't even have to examine me. I told you what was wrong. You could've gone home early!

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 53 points 2 days ago (2 children)

For better or worse, if you weren't fat they wouldn't diagnose you properly either. I've been diagnosed with:

•Too skinny (this is particularly funny bc the complaint was fainting and both the low weight and fainting are from hyperthyroidism as I now know)

•Too tall

•'this is normal for young women' (if it were they'd all be unable to work traditional job)

•Psychosomatic ailment (depression on my medical record is the bane ofy existence)

•Just unlucky

•'this must be an unknown symptom of your existing illness'

•Lacking exercise (I do 2 hour long swims a week and walk 3-5k every weekday)

•Probably lying about the amount I drink (both water and alcohol)

I get the alcohol thing a lot too because I make a lot of ketones naturally and celiac can also mimic some of the physical signs of alcohol. Thing is, I CAN'T drink alcohol bc I have a gene that basically means I'm on an MAOI at all times - I would get a brain bleed and die if I drank. I get blood spikes and migraines from freaking too many beans or meat. It's probably why I've never liked alcohol to begin with.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Is this problem with only having male doctors, or do women doctors pull this bullshit too?

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Women doctors have NEVER given me real pain control for endometriosis pain, even in the ER. After my surgery (which I woke up during and literally it was as painful as the periods I'd been having), I was given 3 days of opiates and then nothing (took 2 months to fully heal, was extremely painful for 2 weeks).

Meanwhile, one male ER doctor DID give me Robaxin one time as a muscle relaxer, and it was AMAZING. It took off that sharp edge of pain. I think he was very concerned about undoing stereotypes of male doctors and women's health. Love him, he is a good guy

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Glad you found a good one. I still haven't found one worth a shit.

It was one ER visit, don't get ahead of yourself here

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I had a female doctor who loved to tell me I was too young to be experiencing the things I was experiencing. Like I had neck pain from an incident at work (which has been ongoing for like 10 years now) and she said "oh young people just look at their phones too much". I also had a reaction to a piercing and she was insistent that the problem was "piercings and tattoos are bad for you", yet when I swapped the ring out for a hypoallergenic one (no thanks to anything she had to say to me), it cleared up extremely quickly.

But anyway, she was at least able to diagnose my PCOS, which a male doctor had prematurely diagnosed as "pregnant" so that was nice.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

What's PCOS? And we need laws to make doctors actually do their freaking jobs. I mean its not the middle ages, we have the tools to diagnose people properly.

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

It's the hospital administration and insurance companies that are the issue, not the doctors themselves per se who are responding to insurance denials and impossible hours and scheduling.

I want to emphasize that insurance does not function to GRANT healthcare but to DENY it. Doctors grant healthcare as providers. When they prescribe it, they’ve granted it. Then insurance steps in and says, “wait a minute.” Their only function is to deny medical care. Not pay for it - the patient does that through premiums etc. To deny it. So why do we need a healthcare DENIAL system?

The answer for why corporations need private insurance denials, is because of Hot Coffee, Bleeding Edge, Erin Brokovich - we could class action sue over the bad and contaminated products companies sell us, because it would be able to be detected. Flint, MI, was caught by testing a kid on Medicare - because they have access to healthcare. The FDA, USDA, etc should actually pay for Medicare for all to GUARANTEE their work in making sure products are safe imo. Why should I have to pay for the government’s failure to do their job? They should guarantee it and track it so they can do their jobs.

But corporations would lose money so they lobby against it. Gotta sell us that asbestos and lead somehow.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

That the biggest thing that pisses me off the most. I am studying to get my insurance license. And the classes they talk big how great insurance is, because at its core it is supposed to a transfer of risk. That all the job of insurance, only reason it exists is for them to protect you in case of a loss. Yet we pay for health insurance and all they do is use our money to find ways not to cover us. Bullshit and I wish we could put a stop to it and offer universal healthcare.

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Polycystic ovarian syndrome. Essentially, my uterus started making little cysts for fun and also my testosterone went way tf up and bad things that accompany high testosterone happened so I didn't have my period for six months. The male doctor said "oh you're just pregnant, get some bloodwork to confirm, and also you need to start taking prenatal vitamins" despite the fact that I had taken multiple pregnancy tests that were negative and hadn't had unprotected sex in that time period.

Fun fact: PCOS affects an estimated 6–13% of women of reproductive age, and up to 70% of cases are undiagnosed. (WHO)

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

That's crazy, thank you for sharing. I have issues with doctors not wanting to anything for my issues too. And I am a male. I swear we need better Healthcare. Hard enough being in a country with shit healthcare, but when we do go to a doctors they push all our concerns aside and think we are just wasting their time.

Being told "You're too young for cancer," in an appointment when I never brought up cancer in the first place was like a gut punch

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I had a female doctor, when told my joints hurt so much I couldn’t use my hands for basic tasks, say to me “Well what do you want ME to do about it??”

Lol I swear to God I've told doctors my symptoms before and their face looks like they're thinking "Holy fuck, you should tell a doctor about that."

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 15 points 2 days ago

I got kind of the opposite of that at the hands of a male doctor. "You can't have Long Covid, only women get it."

But the female doctor I got after that wasn't much better. Third female one is at least taking me seriously.

To have the fun of experiencing what doctors are like when you have a chronic illness play You're Just Imagining It.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I get why doctors go straight to, "It's the fat." It's not fair, but it's understandable.

Put yourself in the doctor's shoes. The majority of people they see are fat. Don't believe it? Look around the waiting room. First time I realized this was a revelation. My old doctor serves almost exclusively senior citizens, who got to be seniors by not being fat. Now I go to other, closer offices and I'm often the only person in the room who isn't overweight. And there's always some morbidly obese person with a cast on their leg. Wonder how that happened?

Imagine how many cases they get in a week that are due to obesity, or aggravated by it. It's kinda like doing tech support where you think you already know what the problem is because you see it every damned day. "sigh... another one". If you're sincerely listening, you'll often catch yourself out! But docs now days gotta run us through the office like herding cattle.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

They also have to talk to everyone like they’re a simpleton. I don’t like being on the receiving end of it, but I get it. I can only imagine how many people doctors see who have zero medical knowledge and need to gently be spoon-fed every bit of new information. It’s gotta be so frustrating, what with all the anti-science garbage filling society right now.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Know why I'm good at tech support? I quickly gauge my audience's level of understanding and speak to it. Once you get a doctor that can do that, hang onto 'em tight!

My doc rarely sees me, but after a minute or two she's dialed in to me personally. Best part? Old lady isn't afraid to give me her "stupid look" when I ask a dumb question. "Yeah, thought that's how it was."

Had a young doc at CVS one day. Once he figured out I wasn't a dumbass redneck, merely a redneck, we had a 45-minute bullshit session where I learned quite a bit. Left me angry that we can't ALL sit down with a professional like that.

anti-science garbage

Got so frustrated taking my ex-wife to doctors for her first pregnancy, seeing all the vaccination posters and being harped on about shots and breastfeeding, finally popped on a nurse:

"Look. We're not retarded. She's breastfeeding as long as possible and hit the kid with whatever vaccines are called for at whatever age. Just do it."

Look on her face was like Will Smith seeing that alien's head grow back. I felt bad, but my frustration that they have to even talk that way! And fuck me, all the talk I hear now days about "evidence based" treatments. "Yeah! That's how medicine works! I got it!"

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Yeah, I'm guessing the downvoters have better doctors than I've seen lately (which is a weird reason to discount another person's experiences, but downvotes don't really matter, so whatever.) I'm still trying to find a good GP with my new insurance. Hopefully I can find someone like the CVS doc you met. I don't have to be sold on vaccines, or be reminded several times to finish all of my antibiotics, or need a precautionary lecture about not needing antibiotics because something's viral. I know how the immune system works, I learned about it as a child, I continue to read medical articles when I come across them, and I always read the pamphlet that comes with new medications.

Again, I don't fault doctors for having to do all that - they're just doing their job. I'm more upset that society has access to all this free information, yet there are still so many people that ignore science that doctors feel the need to explain things like we're all new to it, just in case.

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Add to that half the time someone who is obese and complains of an ailment, let's say muscle pain, they are adamant that it's not the weight. Because the weight is hard to deal with and they need it to be easy.

So yes, someone unfairly has a complaint without being properly heard, but it's in a chorus of people that just won't accept that their obesity is a problem.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Right on. Legit complaints are drowned by the "it's not the fat" crowd.

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No, they don't, and that's a horrific way to practice medicine.

Everyone is unique with unique diet, environmental pressures, and genes. We are not cattle.

Also, we have a working medical model for this - veterinary medicine, esp non-corporate vet med. No vet is looking at an obese dog without ordering a thyroid test at minimum and looking further. Only in human med do we blame the patient like this

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Didn't say it was proper practice, said I understood it.

I don't think it is understandable.

[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 34 points 2 days ago (2 children)

“Anxiety” is the 21st century hysteria. Then it goes into your record so other doctors can summarily dismiss you as “difficult.”

I usually hear "stress"

[–] FundMECFS@quokk.au 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

This. It’s literally what most people who report physical symptoms but the doctor can’t find anything get diagnosed as.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (7 children)

That was the 20th century that they skipped I guess. We as a whole got so overweight that by the 21st century we just started defending it.

I feel bad posting that recognizing your name also runs a wholesome community..

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

A friend of mine, who is just at the border of “normal” and “overweight” on the BMI scale, had a doctor refuse to remove a shard of glass from her hand until she lost 20 pounds. He said the surgery was too dangerous at her weight. There could be complications.

She ended up cutting her hand open and doing it herself.

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[–] reev@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Therapy today is expensive and taxing, Not having to work on yourself sounds relaxing. Instead of evolving and changing your ways, You go to the doctor, they make you come and then your husband pays!

Source: Hysteria by Riki Lindhome

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[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 days ago

They diagnose everyone as fat, though. Unless you're a smoker or drinker in which case that gets the mark first. Unless there's any hint of "drug use" ever.

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