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Hello,
Thank you for expressing your interest in the role and submitting an application!
Before we can move forward please send over a copy if your resume, cover letter, and a brief video of you lashing yourself with wire and reciting our company's core values.
Looking forward to hearing back!
Kathy Somethingorother
HR Generalist
Cintact Info
Big Company
Dumb Quote
Somethingorother? Of the Connecticut Somethingorothers? Archibald Somethingorother IV was the coxswain on my rowing crew at Yale!
Please send over a video of yourself pronouncing "coxswain".
Now please send over a video of you saying "My hero is Dick Butkus. I love Dick!"
Now, send a video of yourself pronouncing "Worcestershire Sauce."
Sorry, I can't read words that long. Is it ok if I just call it Wo...ster Sauce?
hired
congrats you are being considered for a position at Lumon, your recitation of the core values really set you apart from other candidates
potential LinkedIn influencer there
Having just gone through the job hunt cycle again. YES. Accurate.
I gave up on my IT career a few years ago and became a school bus driver. The job application process was refreshingly old-school. I actually faxed my resume! And for the first time in my entire life somebody actually called my references.
It better be barbed wire if you want to work for us.
Am I the only one that can consistently get work? My problem is keeping the work. Every since the company I worked for over 6 years wemt under, I am now back to keeping jobs if I am lucky three months.
Fuck the private equity firm that ruined my company and especially fuck the last CEO who put the final nail in the company's coffin.
Getting a job for me is easy its keeping them that's the problem. I think it's just how much I hate working for other people. Or I hate work.
Damn, look at Mr. Freddie GoodProblems over here, can't even hold all these jobs
Not all that great, just when think I am about to get ahead and can save money I lose the job and back to square one. TWICE! I have had my Ally savings, and money market accounts at 300 dollars each earning great interest rates. TWICE! now they both sitting at 20 because of having to drain all the funds for bills.
Doesn't help my old truck keeps needing freaking repairs, and nope can't afford car payments. So keep sinking money keeping it alive while unemployed. Hopefully this job last awhile. Knock on wood.
I barely even get explicit rejections, much less interviews
Damn, I rejected three jobs and finally got a interview with a job I wanted and nailed the interview so well she hired me on the spot. Been awhile since that happen.
The key is you got to BS the fuck out of your resume and put in keywords to get pass AI. Then just smile and be energetic in the interview process.
The AI proof resume is the true fucking issue. Once I found that out and how to fix it, I started getting interviews.
Man, I NAIL the interview, stick the landing every time, just can't get that far ATM.
Guess I need to focus on beefing up my bullshit. Sad, never had to do that before.
I am afraid of the day i lose my job because I really have no idea how I'll get another job... I've been with the same place for 20 years now, and yes, every single person, including my boss, has said this is actually bad and doesn't look good, which i think is sad. Still, the hiring process from 20 years ago was wayyy different from today. Multiple interviews with multiple groups of people? Sounds awful...
I worked my ass off at this place for the past 15ish years. I've seen it all from when I started it was a quick rising company that couldn't keep up with its own growth. Took over multiple companies and absorbed them or became partners. Then we were sold off. We then saw layoffs and huge changes. We saw our biggest partner separate from us. Then there were the huge ideas that didn't work out and basically put us in the poor house. Now its let's run the tightest ship we can and consolidate everything. Also, sell off most parts of the company to our competitors... so 1 place, and I've seen and dealt with basically everything the corporate world has to offer! Waiting for the day we are completely sold off, and I know we all lose our jobs at that point. Its sad because the last few years have been the quietest and easiest years of work which has helped me a lot to spend more time on personal life and family which im afraid to lose if I do need a new job.
Pretty much what happened to me. 10 years at the same company, saw it grow from small, chaotic business to full corpo, rebrand, merge, split... I got fired this year in yet another in a series of layoff. After one month of searching I did an old style interview with one company (1h java interview, that's it) and got hired. So far I really like it. So... either I got really lucky or it's not as bad as people claim.
It's easier to find a new job while you already have one
I think it’s just how much I hate working for other people.
Or I hate work.
These aren't mutually exclusive, you can hate both at the same time!
spoiler
Source: first-hand experience.
I disapprove of any limiting of rats
