Ask Lemmy

So I'm in a room with 100 cats, one of which pesters me for love and affection about a thousand times a day. I could just sit down and wait for her to come over and scream like she's in immense pain as she usually does. If that didn't work I'd clap my hands and look around. The room should look something like this

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳☺️😳😳😳 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

because she knows me and is used to me being noisy sometimes.

I call my dog Yardstick because she only has 3 feet. Pretty sure I could pick her out, besides the fact that she'd be glued to my leg.

How identical are we talking? Moles all the same place?

Forget my pet, I would be very worried with everyone involved, cats will just like "holy fuck so many enemy!" and cause a fight.

Other than that, depend on which one im looking for, one could be identify with his eye and being chonk, one with her belly and hook-shaped short tail, one with his whine and fluffy tail and his mane, and one with her very judgemental squint.

Yes. I have a unique whistle that she would immediately respond to.

I taught my cat tricks. So it would be the one who would shake my hand for a treat. My cat also is a coward, so would check the wallflowers first.

I mean the one that follows me the most.

I’ve answered this before, but -

I would sneeze or cough, and my oldest would act horribly offended and yell at me. Or she’d come up and demand attention because she’s 8 pounds of fluffy Velcro.

My second oldest would be the one cat to act offended at a bowl of wet food.

My boy would come running at the sound of a yogurt container opening or a whipped cream can being used.

My youngest girl would be the one to make eye contact with me and bolt away. She’d also be looking for her momma (my second oldest).

I refer to my 2 dogs as "my children" all the time, to the point that when I'm calling them both in from outside, I throw open the door and shout "Children!" Or when they're being annoying, I'm like "Children, stop!"

So I would just have to shout the word "Children!" And they'd come to me.

She knows the secret whisper. Even if she doesn't intentionally acknowledge it, I can still tell by the way her tail twitches at the sound.

The other one...I really don't know. He is lost to us ig

I'd bring a pinch of crabgrass and see which sleek void with a kink in her tail comes up to eat it.

Vegetables that normal dogs don't like.

I'll do the "Ku" pose from the movie Kindzaza a couple of times and the dog will come running to jump around me. For some reason, he loves it when I do that.

He would come to me on his own. He's the goodest of good boys and loves me infinitely. My only problem is that he loves people too much. "Hey that's another human who hasn't petted me!" But he always comes back and wags his tail because he's proud that everyone loves him the way that he loves everyone.

Mine would be the dead one. It's been quite a while since I've had a pet.

My boy cat has always given me very affectionate, but forceful, cuddles under my chin, especially when scared. Which reminds me that my old lady cat always buries her face in my elbow when she's scared.

So, I'll just have to pick up every cat and see who trusts me enough to use me as a blindfold lol

I know his meow.

My dogs know their names. They also have individual whistles. They react to certain phrases.

Emeril gets upset if I put my shoes on my hand and clap. To him, it is like I'm a parent admonishing a child. Also, he can sit, paw, and speak.

Eli has the energy of a wet rug, but he whips his head around at the right phases. He can sit, paw, and roll over.

Della is gassy and treat motivated. She would be the hardest because she doesn't know me when she is free. She can sit, paw, kiss, and play guess what hand the treat is in.

My cat can do tricks. So I’d just make him do them and take him back home

Pick up the cats one by one and see which lets me pick them up without trying to attack me.

My cat scratched me a few times on Month 1, but is fine with me now 2+ years in, so if you mean it's all identical clones except the memory, then judging by her initial behavior, only my cat would let me pick her up.

I have a special stupid call that only my dog goes nuts for.

All cats.

If it was my old boy, omg I’d love to have 100 versions of him, but the test would be if I sat down, the cat immediately on my lap is probably him, but to be sure I’d bring in some random stranger and sit them down and see if the same cat goes to them immediately. He was the absolute friendliest cat on the face of the earth, even thought the mailman was there for him!

As for the girl I had at the same time, I’d put down wet food aplenty, and then put a pizza box in the very middle of the table with ham in it and see which one could, and wanted to, get it open. She fucking loved pork for whatever reason, and she was smart enough to understand that knocking a food box off the table would get it open very nicely. I lost a lot of leftovers to that bitch.

My current cats.. they would yell at me and disappear. So no idea. I’d probably put my quail cage in the room and see which ones don’t give a shit about the birds. That’s probably a good clue. Tho the fact that they would be fighting everyone would also be a good clue, that would not be a happy time. They can’t even stand small wildlife by the door..

If I say "it's here" she'll run towards any window to bark.

"Wet food?"

My dog comes to click noises like a horse

She's the only one who ignores me when I call her name

Stand their till mine comes and jumps on me. She lives with my family most of the time so she gets very excited every time I see her.

My cat would be in a corner, or hiding under a sofa. It's feral, blind, deaf, and wary of everything and everyone. If it managed to recognise me, it would give a dismissive twitch of the tail and/or take a swipe at me.

I would first try to spray all dogs with a water hose.. all who play or chill are eliminated. Then I would bring them to a lake. Mine would be the first in the water.

With one of my dogs, I'll look for the dog that does exactly what I say when I say it. For the other, I will look for the dog that completely ignores everything I say.

Each of my cats has a specific strange trait that I would look for.

My cat would find me

His soft little meows. I'd try to mimic his "Outside" button, and see which one comes running and beseeches me with the most pathetic whining. To confirm I'd pick him up and see if he makes a dramatic, offended meow.

Completely heuristic and I would never be entirely sure I have the same one; however, like others have said I'd just have 100 pets. I wish I could afford that and have enough space for that.

I would call my cat and the one that walked up to me stopped a arms reach away would be mine.

I wouldn't want to but I'm guessing...smell their butts?

i literally had a nightmare about this and it really stressed me out

Put down their favorite box and start trying to pet cats. The one that slinks away rapidly to the box and gets bitey/swatty if you put your hands near is her :)

Sit down and try to eat a snack. The cat that ends up about 2 inches in front of my face purring while trying to steal my food and gnaw on my nose is mine

Just give them commands, that aren't their name. Both my cat and dog do an assortment of tricks and are very food motivated.

@Balerion She responds to her heads-up noise. She also complains when I pick her up (even after she's asked to be picked up).

Do that little side-mouth click.

"chk chk" means food and they know it

edit: Cats are trainable AF with sound cues. Ever time I opened the front door I did a twee-twee-twee whistle with my teeth. It taught them that when they hear that sound, it's the opportunity to go out or come in. If I wanted to call them home I'd open the door and do the distinctive whistle, within 10 minutes they'd be hovering at the front looking to come in