Ask Lemmy

my cat has a dedicated overstimulated corner on my desk where she goes if I'm annoying her too much but still wants attention, and I imagine that's not pretty common. She also stares at the wall.

Well, I have a very specific play routine I do with my cat almost every day that no imposter could emulate. I'll point at her and exclaim, "YOU!!! I know what you've done!" and she'll take off running for her life and I'll chase after her. When I finally catch her, I ball my hand into a fist and shove it in her belly and she gives me rabbit kicks and sassy chomps.

I would bring my bed into the room and turn on the floor fan.

Reach down and try to pet them.

The one that dodges like Neo in the Matrix is mine.

Kika: raise the palm of my hand threateningly, and start saying things like "nojenta" (disgusting), "jaguara" (sly), "cachaceira" (drunkard), "chata" (boring) etc. Most cats will go away. Kika will however come closer and turn her butt towards me, as if saying "slap it".

Siegfrieda: start speaking in German. No, seriously. She actually identifies when I'm speaking in Portuguese or in German, and if it's the later she immediately thinks it's something with her. Good luck finding 99 cats with a bent mouth and a protruding fang, though.

Lie down and take out my phone. The two cats who immediately get between my face and my phone are mine, as are my 198 new cats.

There's 99 other dogs in the room. The antisocial thing will be glued to my leg 😆

I'd try and use the bathroom. I'd assume that the two cats that follow me in are mine. If it turns out that all cats will just follow strangers into the bathroom, then one cat is immediately going to jump in the bathtub and start messing with the curtain. Another cat is going to try and dive head first into the toilet. Those will be mine.

I haven’t got any pets now, but for the last pet I had, it would’ve been easy. I mentioned in another comment on here recently that she used to attack/eat dandelions.

I could’ve held up a fluffy, white dandelion and waited to see which pup came over to chomp it.

I guess I would simply have to pet all 100 cats

Well, first I'd be asking what you did to the eye on 99 other pets. After that, I'd find a stairway and take home the first one that tried to trip me going up the stairs

My cockatiel is the only one in this hypothetical flock that would scream my name, when any nearby human gets into an argument.

• Sit in a chair
• Leave room
• Return
• 2 cats will be in the chair

They would pick me out

My dog is missing an ear, so that would make her stand out pretty easily. If the rest of the dogs were also missing an ear, I'd look for the one that was trying to play with the rest of them. Calling her name wouldn't do any good anyways, since she would be way too distracted by the 99 other dogs.

If they are truly 'identical' down to every atom, unless we are talking about spiritual things, they are simply all the same?

He would be the dead one.

I would go to bed and just from the duvet rustling notice which cat comes running to be the little spoon.

Or I would sit with some yummy human food (like butter) and see which one will stop sniffing at it when I tell them to leave it, and instead go sit patiently at their own place waiting for their taste of the treat (cats aren't known for their patience, but we have developed this ritual together.. next step is utilising the same command when it's time for their food and see if I can stop that darn yowling).

Easy - I wouldn't. Especially since it would just be an empty room.

Oh, it's easy. Mine is the one cat who is picking constant fights with all the other cats. For the amount of love and affection this guy has for human, he has the identical in size hatered for other cats, especially if they look like him

I feign striking my wife in anger.

We shared a house with my wife's brother. He was an alcoholic, and got uppity one night. I was at work, so not home.

Our dog made sure he regretted being an aggressive ass towards his sister.

Then I nearly got assault charges for making sure he remembered why he was bruised and scratched up the next morning after I got home from night shift. The canine puncture was his own fucking problem. Note: I didn't lay a hand on him, was just accused.

If there was just my cat? I'd just get a hoodie on and pretend to start studying. The cat that climbs my back and snuggles up into the hood is mine.

If my dog is also there? I'd just say "where's the cat?" In my dialect. My dog would just waltz over to the cat and sit on them. Or just point at them like he does with quails (hunting dog) if he can't reach her.

I honestly can't think of anything better than being in a room with 100 Boxer dogs.

At the end, the sofa and blanket would have to be huge to fit us all on it, though.

My dog is the most cowardly dog I've ever met. All I would have to do is bring the toy he is afraid of. All the other dogs will either ignore it or want to play with it. But my dog will recognize the scary toy and cower. I got him that toy for Christmas and it was a really nice expensive toy. Same brand as all his other toys he loves. But for whatever reason, he's scared of it. So I gave it to my parent's dogs who think it's just the best toy they've ever seen.

I've had the same gerbil for almost 30 years. I doubt I'd notice if someone swapped it into identical colored one in the middle of the night.

I'd sneeze. Calcifer (orange cat) would run up and "mer" at me to say 'bless you'

Can I have props?
If yes, give me a kitchen sink, cutting table and some tomatoes.

Upon the mere sound of water running in the sink, my little bastard will run to my feet and start yelling because he thinks I'm preparing meat. Then I show him I'm actually preparing a salad, and offer him a tiny piece of tomato.
He sniffs and walks away in one swift disinterested motion.

Whoever doesn't scream at my feet when I'm at the sink, or shows any interest in the tomato is out of the list 🍅

By "identical" I'm going to mean you want me to pick Izzy out of a lineup of 100 female grey cats.

Wait and see which one starts yelling at precisely 3:45 PM. That'll be my Izzy, that's her loudest meal time.

Seymour has a little pink spot on his muzzle, and I'm not sure if could tell Will from a shag rug...

Can of whipped cream. Misha has very good pattern recognition.

She also recognises the "c'mon whistle" as head back inside.

Misha is a cat btw

I just have to sit down for a few seconds. The one that throws themself over my shoulder like a baby is mine. She did that when I first met her at the shelter and she still does it when I visit her at my brother's

Oh easy. I’d go sit on the porcelain throne and close the door. He’ll show up incensed that the door was closed soon enough.

Alternately, I could walk within 10 feet of the cabinet that has the treat bag in it.

Easy. Mine is the cute but stupid one who keeps walking into walls and barking at his own shadow. And no, he's not blind. Just dumb.

One has obvious visible signs from a rough past, plus she makes unique Chewbacca sounds and hops like a kangaroo/faints like a goat when excited. The other would tackle me and not leave my side.

I do a simple tongue click twice and wait. My cats all understand what the 2 clicks means.

I would try to walk. That would instantly make our one cat sprint to my feet to get directly under and infront of them.

For the other cat saying “soft food” would work. She’ll come screaming and expect to be served. Lord help me if I don’t have food on me though.

How identical are we talking? Moles all the same place?

I have a parrot, i just need to say “who wants a blueberry?” And that little fucker will fly to me and start demanding his treat.

I mean the one that follows me the most.

"find it!" will cause her to search everywhere for her toy. For the other one, it's whichever starts yodeling if I splash water into the air. I've never heard another creature make the noises he does