this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2025
144 points (85.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

33587 readers
3808 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Heikki2@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] laranis@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago

Bond. James Bo- hack cough wheeze rasp gasp... cough hack wheeze stumbling fatly

[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Would have said Danny DeVito, but we all know he would be the perfect James Bond.

[–] Asswardbackaddict@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 3 points 2 days ago

I'm too lazy xD

[–] Masterkraft0r@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Hubie’s thermos goes hard, maybe Danny Devito

[–] squaresinger@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I'd watch the fuck out of that.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 2 points 2 days ago

Oh, now, wait a minute...!

[–] WiseScorpio@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Michael Cena

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 6 points 2 days ago

Sadly he's no longer with us, but Andre the Giant.

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago
[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Rebel Wilson. Shit wait they already did that movie. Uhhh Rowan Atkinson. Oh God dammit nevermind they did that one to. Okay okay, hold on, I have the perfect one. We get Larry the Cable Guy, but it's not actually him, he reprises his role as, get this, Mater from the Cars universe! Oh wow I really suck at this.

[–] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 61 points 3 days ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] WraithGear@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Neil Breen.. remember, eyes on Breen

[–] KingOogaBooga@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sadly he is dead but, Gilbert Godfrey would be perfect.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] callouscomic@lemmy.zip 31 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

You win 🤢

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 75 points 4 days ago (6 children)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] RobotZap10000@feddit.nl 75 points 4 days ago
[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago

James Corden

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 67 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Michael Cera. He does a good job, but the whole time you're waiting for him to do his "awkward teenager" character.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] pachrist@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just recast a Bond movie from Pineapple Express.

James Franco would be worse than Seth Rogen as Bond, because he'd take any sexually aggressive scenes too seriously.

So Seth Rogen gets to be M, Danny McBride is Q, and Amber Heard is the Bond girl.

Kind of fits, in a shitting the bed kind of way.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ronald Reagan. not like when he was alive either.

dig up his corpse and make the fuckin movie.

[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The President as an actor?!

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I can't decide if Danny DeVito would be perfect or awful for this, but it'd be hella entertaining.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] tino@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Woody Harrelson

[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 46 points 4 days ago (7 children)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dechnically@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago

Rob Schneider

[–] Soapbox@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago (5 children)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 35 points 4 days ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] tgirlschierke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 4 days ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

I thought of another one:

Melissa McCarthy and Amy Schumer are...Jane Bond(s)

(Because they rebooted it, and now there are two of them, but they're ladies with vaginas. But they totally still fart and stuff, too!)

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My pick for the new James Bond

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›