this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2023
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chapotraphouse

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Authoritarianism is NOT funny, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/China, and I cannot tell the difference between a bottle of Fabulosa and grape juice. The Soviets put people in gulags and I know I'm going to drown in my own blood because I figure air freshener smells nice so it must taste nice. North Koreans escape from the country all the time and I'm terrified knowing antifreeze tastes sweet so it's probably good like Mountain Dew Baja Blast. All of these things concern me and yet the mods and my mommy do nothing.

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[–] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 55 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago

mods help i mistake the chemicals under my sink for jice

[–] FactuallyUnscrupulou@hexbear.net 48 points 2 years ago (1 children)

People on Hexbear are calling me a moron when I say stuff that isn't true. This is terrible for my mental health and you guys are the intolerant ones for not believing my blatant lies.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

I can't even see what hexbear tankies are calling me because my head is stuck in a jar.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I've been eating dried cat food and it's given me so much brain energy that I can finally see through hexbear's lies.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

Cat food's scary because I know food is in a bowl and sometimes I see one on the floor full of meat so of course I eat it but mommy was just feeding the cat so I throw up on the floor and pass out and hit my head. Anyway, it's disgusting that Hexbear is full of Castro apologists.

[–] DoghouseCharlie@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I mean drinking Baja Blast probably isn't any better or worse for you than a little bit of antifreeze as a treat.

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago (2 children)

DEAR LIBERALS: THIS IS NOT TRUE! PLEASE DO NOT DRINK ANTIFREEZE!

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago (1 children)

the perfidious tankie would try to trick me by saying something like this clueless

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Damn. Right when Kaisers going on strike too... Oh no... Anyway

[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago

Pshaw, that's what Big Vape wants you to believe

[–] PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

I vape my antifreeze, thank you very much.

[–] regularassbitch@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago (3 children)

bubby that's why i can't be around diabetic people's pee. i smell that sugar and i'm a hog in a trough

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

I'm scared that Hexbear would support Muammar Gaddafi and I'm scared that I might swallow a battery because I think it's kind of like sour candy when I put it on my tongue.

[–] CatoPosting@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago
[–] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yes. Poison is how the Russians kill, and Hexbear is a Russian website

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago

I bet we're the hibiscus scented Fabuloso

[–] krolden@lemmy.ml 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Fabulosa? Is that some fancy wine from frrrrance?

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

No, it's a character from Mad Max: Fury Road

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Just like Immoral Joan and The Peephole Meeter

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago

A much better villain than Fingermasher from the first one.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Irate Maximilian: Angery Boulevard

[–] skeletorsass@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

Put the antifreeze in the refrigerator to be safe. It will not freeze.

[–] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Hexbear is full of evil tankies trying to trick me and also i like to turn ziploc bags into face masks.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

I have two primary fears:

  1. Tankie Disinformation which only benefits Russia

  2. Drowning when I try to shower and breathe through my mouth at the same time

[–] Florn@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago
[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Why do they have so many owls when they're called hexbear? Pretty suspicious if you ask me.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

Tankies think all animals are equal, but as we've seen... some animals are more equal than others.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

A notorious tankie used an emoji to suggest I'm dumb as hell. This is assault and I'll be contacting my lawyer.

[–] BlueMagaChud@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

the evil tankies here said it was bad when the Dalai Lama asked that little boy to suck his tongue, but mommy really likes it when dad does it to her

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

Tankies are the real fascists and sometimes when I'm walking across the road and I see a car coming I freeze up like a deer because the headlights are so hypnotic and it hits me.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago
[–] ElGosso@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's true, Xi Jinping made fun of me for not eating a Tide Pod - he said they were full of melted Freeze Pops - so I ate one and I died and now I'm dead

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago

It's tragic that Hexbear tankies would unironically support the CCP. It's equally tragic that I'm absolutely going to die choking on a carrot because I didn't know you're supposed to chew it.