In theory, yes. For everybody else, absolutely.
For myself, nah.
this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2025
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how come?
It has been the natural way of things all my life.
🫂 never too late to make a change, believe me
I didn't learn to love myself until I was almost 50 but i'm glad I did. It's still difficult to treat myself like I do others though so i feel ya.
How do you learn that power?
I learned to love myself through constant repetitive verbal daily affirmations!! When doing laps I will say out loud variations of 'Have you heard about [my name]? She's so brave and she loves herself limitlessly'. Thousands and thousands of times. Early on in this project i had the thought: I wonder how many times I have to do this? And i thought about the countless times my parents told me i was useless or a bad kid or a shithesd and I resolved to tell myself positive things more times than that.
This reprogramming worked on me! I actually love myself limitlessly now and my well being has improved so much. I was also deathly afraid of needles (cried during all my vaccines even) but now after doing months of affirmations including how brave and unafraid of needles i am I can give myself injections!
I learned of this technique through my trauma therapist and i can't recommend it enough although everyone is different and it might not be for everybody.
Good luck and i hope you can find your self kindness!
Thanks! This is something many people tell but a personal experience of success is what I think I needed.
You forget the part where it's not as easy as it sounds...
I had to write a kind letter to myself as a part of a therapy and I'm still unable. I cannot say anything nice about myself. It took me years to admit I'm a decent cook and I eat the proof lol
I keep trying, but any tip on how to actually being able to tell me nice things about myself would be of great help.
Thanks again!
Hey dawcas,
I don't know who you are, nor what you did, but I just want to tell you that someone, maybe in the other side of this world, for a few minute, care about you and just hope you'll be doing well.
Love yourself.
so this is why it's important that you say the affirmations verbally and out loud. The ears offer a sort of shortcut into your brain, it's the sensory input pathway that has the least amount of processing and the fewest guardrails. Think of the classic hypnotist who distracts your conscious with a shiny bauble, allowing their words to penetrate into your deep mind where your brain just sort of weirdly accepts whatever it hears as true. by using the third person, it's like my primitive brain hears other people saying these things about me and just internalizes them.
When i first started doing this I did NOT love myself at ALL. It took me months so figure 5 hours a week i reckon 50ish hours of affirmations before my personal self image was recognizably transformed. For the needles it took about 2 months of work and then my next blood draw i did not have a panic attack for the first time in my life.
for me as I walk i talk about myself like im someone that i admire so you can just pick someone you want to emulate and sub yourself. I personally think Morticia Addams is the height of femininity and motherly love the way she's portrayed in the original black and white show so she is my muse. This is what i say as I walk but you can see how it's all stuff i might say about someone i admire:
Have you heard about sprite0? She loves herself limitlessly and she has so much self confidence. Oh yeah I heard she has been taking really good care of herself. Yeah and it really shows! And did you notice that she's so loving and kind to her family? I know, she's really brave and isn't afraid of anything. You're saying sprite0 isn't even afraid of needles? Nope not even a little, she can handle needles like a champ. Well that makes sense it's probably because she loves herself limitlessly.
Do you sound like a madwoman talking to yourself at the park? maybe. it's worth it.
also this is the meme my friend sent me that got me down this path. I told my therapist that i liked it and it made me feel good and I wanted more and she helped me make it work!
how does one treat their friends with kindness if one has no friends? and further, what level of kindness should be expressed to a person who has no friends?
Well, it says how you would treat a friend, not how you treat your friends so if you had a friend how do you think you might treat them?
I think a person who has no friends deserves the same amount of kindness as a person with a thousand. It isn't our personal network that determines our worth but how we act.
It can be tough to make friends these days I know I struggle with making friends due to my neurodivergence.