Ask Lemmy

This asshole has learned to claw at my back through the chair when he wants attention and it startles me every time.

One of ours will track me down every day two hours before feeding time and start howling at me for food.

You will wait, you little glutton.

All 3 of ours are quite vocal, but only Ciri drives me crazy. She is extremely social young cat, and every time someone leaves the house, goes to the bathroom, takes a shower or goes out of sight for any reason, she will start yowling after them, and not in a cute way, it's a banshee wail. She will also do this if she thinks it's feeding time (1-2h before actual feeding time) or if she "can't find anyone". If ignored, she will escalate to clawing doors or bullying the other two to provoke a reaction.

We know the only way to make it stop is not to react, but she is REALLY good at provoking a reaction, especially when she starts this operation 04:30 in the morning when I need to get up in 2 hours for work...

Otherwise a very pleasant, smart cat.

On the left, the criminal herself, chilling with her (suspected) mom.

One of my cats periodically likes to stick his head through the window blinds at 2 in the morning to look outside. When he does that he makes these terrible choking noises, which causes me, if I'm awake to hear it, to run out and check on him. At that point, he'll pull his head out and look at me like I'm the idiot for being worried about him...

When we first adopted him the foster person said he "nibbles" and he's "quirky". This mf-er will draw blood if you're not fast enough. He bites when he gets overexcited from pets, and he also bites when he's not being pet enough. If he's on your lap or chest, he will very purposefully bite your nipples. You just have to be fast enough and read him so you can save yourself from the chomp. I don't know any other cat with teeth as sharp as his.

His "quirky" habits are that he's extremely easily startled and that he will always be ON your feet (not at your feet or around your feet, he will sit on them). Today he was shoving himself in the fridge while my partner was trying to get something, and when he went to close the door this dumbass cat got startled and jumped face first into the door. He also will scream, for hours, even if you're in the same room as him. He screams until you look at him and then he pretends to be cleaning himself if you call his name, but as soon as you look away he starts screaming again.

He's extremely fucking annoying, like I've never had a cat as annoying as him before (and I've lived with like 10 different cats). Love him to death and I would never give him up, but goddamn do I want to throw him out the window sometimes.

When my cat is trying to take a poop in the litter box, it will first dig a hole. But then instead of shitting into the hole like a normal cat, it will just stand in the hole with the front-paws and shit somewhere in a 360° radius around the hole. That radius is often outside the litter box.

my cat refuses to use the litter box to poop.

I've tried everything over 10 years.

• multiple boxes
• low profile vs high profile boxes
• steps
• automatic scooping boxes
• different types of litter
• different locations
• different food
• pheromones
• vet tests to ensure it's not a medical issue ($3000 in tests)

there's more I just don't want to remember it all right now.

so yeah. cat still poops on the floor. only poop though so I guess that's something.

I once knew a person whose cat, when she was on the toilet, would come in and climb into her pants and chill there, like "Yep we besties, I'm glad I can hang out with you during this pooping time."

She didn't hate it, but she definitely didn't love it either.

My cat doesn't know how to clean himself. My other cats do. He's the only one ruining around the house usually smelling a bit of pee. I don't know how to make him do it.

My heathen has decided every morning recently she's going to get right up in my face in the morning and knead next to my face to wake me up. Its so obnoxious, also usually means I cant go back to sleep, so im up for the day.

One girl cat is lovey to us but a bitch to her adopted brother and sister. She thinks she's the queen.

The other girl cat pees and poops beside the box. She just did 3 weeks of litter box boot camp with only one accident until last night- the other cat attacked her, she hid, and she didn't get put into her room overnight.

The boy cat scratches my face.

I cant think of anything my cats do that annoys me.

My first cat, however, was an unfixed male and he would attack me if i didnt play with him enough.

My tortie loves me too much. She won't leave me alone when I'm trying to concentrate, always demanding pets. She'll scratch at doors if she's closed out.

She also closes doors on herself, trapping her in the room. You'd think she should learn but somehow she keeps doing it.

Izzy's a scarf and barfer. She gets half a can of cat food at a time, five times a day. If I put a whole can down for her, she'll eat the whole thing and then come down with a screaming case of the walkin' pukes.

My orange cat loves pushing things off tables. At this point, he knows he'll get in trouble for it too, so he tries to be sneaky about it right up until whatever it is smashes on the floor.

Licking my leg when i'm having intense videogame moment or cutting veggie.

Pretty generic, but the territoriality drives me mad.

We have an "open house" policy where stray cats can come and eat as they please. But whenever we adopt one of them they would almost without fail become territorial and chase/attack other cats that come to eat. Like, "bitch you were just in their predicament, have some empathy! You see us actively giving them food, they are not intruders stealing food"

Another thing is some cats' refusal to get into a carrier/trap to go to a vet. "You're obviously suffering and we want to help you, just get into the damn carrier already"

Goes up on my desk at night and walks through cables. We came to a compromise where I cleaned up the desk and cables so she can walk through unimpeded…

Yoshi: meows when bored. Meows when he wants to cuddle with my SIL. Meows when he wants treats. Gets kicked in the ribs frequently because it you leave ANY room he has to be first. Also pisses next to the toilet when the litterbox is "too full" (this is a variable). Also pisses in the bathrooms doorway when we’re out for the night, but only if no light is left on while we’re gone.

Nacho: Literally the perfect pet. Wanted to get adopted. Is scared of everything outside the house refuses to leave the house. Regularly catches birds and bats on the balcony.

Mine knows how to knock on my bedroom door when he’s hungry.

Whenever I have a glass of water, he will sneak up and drink from it. We even gave him a human glass with water to drink from, but NO, it has to be mine.

Vast destruction and extirpation on a scale rivaled only by humans themselves. Cats are a dangerous invasive species and vermin.