The Onion and other satire w/ layers

The job market is absolutely brutal right now. And when you’re someone like me, who doesn’t have a “bachelor’s degree” in the traditional sense, it can be tough to land that ever-elusive interview. I’m constantly thinking of new ways to at least give hiring managers a second of pause before they throw my resume in the trash. And I think I’ve got something, even if the lamest people on the planet will probably call it “stolen valor.” [...]