this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2025
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Paltrow has no credibility. Look up “goop”. She is a shill for snake oil crap.
I'm aware, but it doesn't change the parallel of them bringing in a celebrity to massage their image to their target demo.
Ah, glad you are aware. Others should be too. Her particular version of snake oil is not only predatory, but also dangerous to women and their health.
They also likely chose her because she’s the Coldplay vocalist’s ex.
Wasn’t she in a series of super popular Marvel movies where she had a relationship with her boss?
Neither was married.
Bigger issue is that they hired a person known for promoting scam products as a spokesperson for their brand.
By the end of it they'd married each other and had a kid, but yeah, not cheating.
The CEO wasn't fired for the cheating part...
So they brought in someone who was married to a member of coldplay.... While they sold scam products to the foolish.... To improve their image?
Well there's a voice you can trust. Maybe they can add RFK Jr. too.
Ah yes, the voice that sounds like a lot of healthy choices were made to date.
More like astrologist, amirite?
She sells slightly alkaline water. To go into your HCl stomach.
*flex*
and promptly tells you to squeeze citric acid into it
She's gonna relieve the congestion in their deep core
Plot twist: the whole story has been setup as a Coldplay marketing campaign
This didn't make sense to me until I read the article and found out 'Astronomer' was the name of the company where the CEO and HR lady worked.
It still doesn't make much sense agree learning that, but it killed the 'garden path sentence'-feel
My brain saying a few things I can't quite string up all together, let's see:
- coldplay music
- paltrow for damage control, question mark
- being tone deaf
- confusion