this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Perplexed that the Department of Justice had chosen a setting with such strange decor to ask her about Jeffrey Epstein’s co-conspirators, Ghislaine Maxwell confirmed Thursday that she couldn’t help but notice her interview room was covered in plastic sheeting. “Wow, you’ve got the whole room tarped up—you guys doing some painting later?” said Maxwell as she stepped into the Florida courthouse’s windowless office, with eyewitnesses reporting that she then carefully shuffled over to a plastic-wrapped chair after briefly slipping on the slick, sheeted floor. [...]

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[–] ProfThadBach@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Here are all of the Epstein Files that have either been leaked or released.

https://joshwho.net/EpsteinList/gov.uscourts.nysd.447706.1320.0-combined.pdf (verified court documents)

https://joshwho.net/EpsteinList/black-book-unredacted.pdf (verified pre-Bondi) Trump is on page 85, or pdf pg. 80

Trump’s name is circled. The circled individuals are the ones involved in the trafficking ring according to the person who originally released the book. These people would be “The List “ Here is the story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsiKUXrlcac

Here's the flight logs https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21165424-epstein-flight-logs-released-in-usa-vs-maxwell/

—————————other Epstein Information

https://cdn.factcheck.org/UploadedFiles/Johnson_TrumpEpstein_Calif_Lawsuit.pdf here’s a court doc of Epstein and Trump raping a 13 yr old together.

Some people think this claim is a hoax. Here is Katies testimony on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnib-OORRRo

Epstein’s Ex Says He Boasted About Being a Mossad Agent https://share.google/jLMGahKlCzfV1RHZq Epstein and Israel both hired lawyer Alan Dershowitz, who says he's building 'legal dream team' to defend Israel in court and on internationally | The Times of Israel https://share.google/Lb9hDOduBWG4Elpid

Epstein Docs: https://ia600705.us.archive.org/21/items/epsteindocs/

Epstein Bribes/Payments: 1 BILLION+ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7IrEi-ybzs

—————————other Trump information:

Here's trump admitting to peeping on 14-15 year old girls at around 1:40 on the Howard Stern Radio Show: https://youtu.be/iFaQL_kv_QY

Trump's promise to his daughter: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-ivanka-trump-dating-promise_n_57ee98cbe4b024a52d2ead02 “I have a deal with her. She’s 17 and doing great ― Ivanka. She made me promise, swear to her that I would never date a girl younger than her,” Trump said. “So as she grows older, the field is getting very limited.”

Trump's modeling agency was probably part of Jeffreys pipeline: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/08/donald-trump-model-management-illegal-immigration/

A good summary of Trump-Epstein timeline: https://thepresidential.medium.com/we-have-been-gaslit-about-donald-trump-and-jeffrey-epstein-for-four-years-fbda67c20f75

• ⁠Much of this info can also be found on: https://theepsteindocs.com/

Feel free to do your part and spread this info around so it is never “lost”.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

The joke is that they want to prevent blood stains, right?

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 1 week ago

got the idea from watch dexter.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Didn’t you watch Dexter?

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 3 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 days ago

It’s about a guy who wraps rooms in plastic.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

if you havnt watched dexter, hes a vigilante serial killer, that "deals" with people that got away scot free from thier heinous crimes, he also works with Law enforcement which gives him significant clout from suspicion.

Dexter is about a serial killer killer.

When he was a young boy, Dexter witnessed the brutal murder of his mother, and it bent his brain a bit. His foster parent noticed that he seemed to have some psychopathic tendencies, so instead of trying to "fix" him, they just taught him a moral code, that he should only kill muderers who escaped justice.

In adulthood, Dexter works in forensics, helping the police track down murderers, murdering the ones that "get away." There's a lot of blood spatter in this show.

[–] billygoat@catata.fish 1 points 1 week ago

For some reason my first thought was lethal weapon 2.

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago

This guy kills. /s

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

So trump is immune for any acts as president. Does he have to kill her himself or if her orders someone else to do it are they covered as well?