Can you just turn up the happy setting on the world a tick or two? Just enough to get everyone to chill the fuck out.
this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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Sadly I can't alter others directly due to Wizard Code of Ethics... But yeah we as a species should collectively chill the fuck out I agree.
Then I'll settle for ending all forms of slavery.
I'll... Erm... Additionally bring muffins with the cookies to the library (work) tomorrow that I promised in a comment below. And double the- no triple the amount!
I want to see your magic license
Uh oh... Here sir.
A team of magick inspectors has been dispatched to your location to deliver you the physical version.
Remember to always report the loss of your physical wizarding license. The electronic variant only will no longer be accepted after the end of september.
mumbles about the need to validate the physical card every 6 months at an official "Wiz'a'Wiz" store
Thank you High Councellor, I promise not to burn this card while trying to conjure a fireball, again.
You should just buy or make a fire immunity pebble and stick it to your card.
The darn apprentices keep thinking it's a bug on my card and keep throwing it out.
Why do apprentices even have access to your card?
Throw out the apprentices that do it.
They are a meddling bunch - I keep throwing them out but this generation of apprentices just browse the magiscroll all day, don't listen, and don't have manners.
They always think they are doing me favours by breaking into my study and "cleaning up" my perfectly organized piles.
Despicable.
Agreed. Oh well they'll learn in the nether which I always banish them to. Once they get back they'll be useful!
I want [a pocket dimensional teleporter]
Granted, your pocket is a worm hole into another dimension, but the location hqppens to be a pocket of the same size and constant, stable connection has been created. Making it feel like a normal pocket.
I wish for you to have a nice day
Thank you. I will make sure to fulfill your wish! Guess I'll go to the cinema tonight afterall :)
How was the movie?
It was actually pretty good! Thanks for asking :)
It was the new superman movie. I don't usually fancy superhero movies, but occasionally join friends to watch. It was good!
Awesome, I still gotta see it but I keep hearing good things. Thanks for letting me know!
Thank you for making me go! Almost cancelled those plans out of laziness :)
The first step out the door is always the hardest. Once I get going, I’m always grateful I did
Words of wisdom right there. Doesn't take much for it to be worth it either!
Could you please remove extremism from the human noosphere?
Unfortunately I can not directly alter the human mind as it's against the wizard code of ethics :( But I do that on my own and try to do my best to remove ignorance and hate from the minds of people with the power of projecting compassion where possible. If a human is too deep in their own ignorance, then I try to protect others around them to the best of my ability.
We'll I guess I'll just have to let the SCP Foundation know that I've found a dangerous reality bender. Unless you want to rethink that stance.
I mean.. I'm just a jobless dude with a long beard... spare some change? No wizardry or magic hoopity poopitys here sir.
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What makes a man turn neutral?
A good ph buffer
Giant Space Laser that automatically zaps the 100 evilest people in the world each day. Determined by who negatively impacted the quality of life of the most people that day.
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Unbend my back pretty please!
I'm sorry today is all about bending, unbendings only on monday and tuesday between 11:11 - 13:23 :(
Turn me into a girl pleeeeeeease 🥺
This is an impossible task unfortunately as we haven't been able to find a way to reverse aging with magic despite millenia of dedicated research into magic. You must continue living as an adult/young woman, Lena, or talk to a dark alchemist or a warlock.
I have a second wish, can you make all pedantry vanish?
Gurl, the headline says "one wish".. but I gotchu fam one mo time
I would also like the ability to bend reality to my will
Wizard school was a scam, just become a sorcerer/ess and save your money.
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I wish upon everyone more cute pet pics in their feed.
Granted, please subscribed to these: !cat@lemmy.world !aww@lemmy.ml !illegallysmolcats@lemmy.world !animals@beehaw.org
Meteor
Granted, pick up from any of our distribution locations world wide: https://tammojan.github.io/meteormap/
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