The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Top DOJ official set to meet with Ghislaine Maxwell hours before her suicide (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 week ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche is set to meet with Jeffrey Epstein accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell a few hours before she is found dead by suicide in her heavily guarded cell, sources confirmed.

“Ms. Maxwell was a close friend and associate of Jeffrey Epstein and we believe she is the key to getting to the bottom of what the disgraced financier and convicted sex offender had been up to behind he scenes. I’m looking forward to talking with her about how she has never met President Trump, and how the Obama administration used Epstein’s island as their home base,” said Blanche. [...]

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[–] Winter_Oven@piefed.social 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

This feels like ~~they're~~ the Onion's flying a bit too close to the sun doesn't it?

(Edited after @Kyrgizion@lemmy.world's reply)

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How is it not witness tampering to even “meet” with her? There’s no way the doh could resist bribing her with a pardon to ensure she says “never met the guy.”

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think she knows all to well the pardon would still result in death.

She's safer there probably than out. That list had many rich people from around the world after all

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago

Maybe they’re offering Secret Service protection? Jail didn’t save Epstein.