this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 85 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Can you do something about the... gestures vaguely at everything?

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 115 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 80 points 1 week ago
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[–] Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a double chili kelp fries.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 36 points 1 week ago

Daring today, aren't we:

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[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Let’s try making Karma a real universal force

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Good one! Your wish has been granted (but in an alternate universe). After a period of turmoil, the citizens of Earth C-132 create a utopic society:

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[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 22 points 1 week ago (11 children)

Okay, let's try this.

Every single human being, gradually, develops empathy and awareness to how their choices affects themselves and others.

This is to happen over a period of a year and will not lead people to despair but to understand the poor choices they have made throughout their lives and lead them to live better lives, with no malice arbored towards others and themselves.

This effect will include the granter of this wish.

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[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Could you dissapear all the facisim thats popping up everywhere? That would be super.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The fascism is now undetectable to the vast majority but still happening behind the scenes:

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 47 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Here you go. These are gender-fluids. Once ingested, someone who identifies as either a man or a woman will now identify as gender-fluid. (Does not come with physical changes):

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[–] Apocalypteroid@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 week ago
[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

i can't eat this. where's the meat?

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[–] MrLLM@ani.social 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You’ve done more than enough, my child. Get yourself something nice.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 27 points 1 week ago

𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢.

I conjure myself up some tea.... it verges on the cusp of excessive lemon.

[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

One (1) fall of capitalism please

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You got it. Post apocalyptic scenario ends all forms of investment and monetary exchange. We go back to the barter system:

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[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Granted, but all of your farts are now noticeably audible. You can no longer fart quietly:

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[–] fittedsyllabi@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (4 children)
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[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A bagel.

No. Wait.

Two bagels.

[–] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The next time that you eat at a restaurant and are entirely full, two fresh artisanal bagels are delivered to your table: they're complementary.

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[–] OddMinus1@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Whenever someone attempts to make a golf swing, change the friction coeficcient of the grip to zero.

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