When was the last time you saw a possessed Linux system? Donβt worry Iβll wait
this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2025
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my Linux has dæmons all over it
The good dæmons compete with pathogenic bad dæmons, and are essential for the computer's health.
All my Linux systems are possessed by daemons
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Stupid Linux Guy doesn't realize that by installing Linux, you install even more daemons on your machine!
Just because they're daemons doesn't mean they're bad or malicious. Assuming they are is racist.
Install FreeBSD
Nah we know its just that all the demons end up clogging up the pc portal and all of them trying to enter at once end up blocking each other
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You can probably configure the demon in Linux
demonctl stop hellfire
demonctl disable hellfire
demonctl enable regular-fire
demonctl start regular-fire
demonctl set --force body-type=human horns=2 eyes=2 tongue=forked skin=red
demonctl add --object electric-guitar
demonctl speak "play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls"
/. tribute.sh
Think it's ./tribute.sh iirc
Edit: removed the space between ./ and tribute.sh
./: is a directory
You're technically right since everything is a directory in Linux. ./ is indeed for starting scripts though
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How do I daemonize my demon?
This is like 99% of Lemmy users.
"How do I fix this issue with my computer?"
"Have you heard of our lord and savior FOSS?"
would actually solve 90% of problems.
With Linux:
I don't have forced updates.
I do have driver compile error when I update the kernel.
I don't have spyware recording my screen.
I don't have Discord record my screen when I want it to, either.
I don't have ads for games in my launcher.
I don't have HDR for games in my Steam library.
Etc.
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Literally saw this on Mastodon yesterday.
"How come emailing a document to myself is still the easiest way to send something to another device?"
"Have you tried using Linux?"
I mean they aren't wrong. KDE connect on phone and PC is a game changer. GS connect if you use Gnome Desktop. Not only can you send a file instantly, you can also copy your clipboard between devices, answer SMS on your PC, or have the phone pause your PC media when the phone rings. Its amazing. There is a windows version but it doesn't work properly.
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I'm inclined to believe that's normal Windows behavior at this point...
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Demons prefer FreeBSD
Install TempleOS to sanctify your computer and rid it of demons once and for all.
Nothing wrong with just suggesting Linux tho. And the satan part is obviously just a nice goodie of your PC.
Exactly! More proof it runs on a huge variety of hardware
$ sudo systemd-inhibit lucifer
Linux doesn't have this? Man, I guess I'll stick with windows. That shit is metal AF.
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Sounds like a standard windows 11 install to me?
The demon is Bill Gates fueled with the tormented souls of Microsoft employees that just got layed off. The solution is to print out a few Arch wiki pages and a usb stick (with Arch) and say "the power of Torvalds compels you" until the PC is once again pure. Than keep your PC pure by avoiding absolutely proprietary software and always praying to Tux for more features.
Hence freebsd was born.
sudo apt purge demon -y
Because Linux is so effective that the GPU temperature tops at 69, which is nice.
May the power of Ubuntu Christian Edition compel him!
https://distrowatch.com/table-mobile.php?distribution=ubuntuce
Hail satan! Linux FTW
Sounds like something windows would doβ¦
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