The Onion and other satire w/ layers

Metalhead and total poser Greg Borneck had patches for bands that you recognized on his battle vest when you saw him in the crowd at an Exhumed show, disgusted sources report.

“Yeah man, I had a lot of fun putting this together,” Borneck said. “I grew up a huge Sepultura fan, so of course I had to put a ‘Beneath the Remains’ patch on there. I also figured I couldn’t go wrong with a Kreator ‘Pleasure to Kill’ backpatch, because that album is an absolute thrash masterpiece. I’ve also got a few death metal band patches on here, like Morbid Angel and Deicide. You know, just really classic stuff that any metalhead can get behind. I just love whipping this bad boy out to go to a show. It is usually quite the conversation starter, not to mention a scowl starter for some reason.” [...]