cats

feed him, you nasty person! He needs food! Can't you see he's starving to death? His bowl has been empty for 1 hour. That's basically animal cruelty!

What is all this water doing here? And you've gone into the water?? You are going to drown before you feed me and that is not the correct order.

Online cat owners remund me of Pearl Jam - Betterman.

They're so deep in a toxic relationship, they overcome it by saying the bad behaviour is cute and that's as good as they deserve.

Edit: Every downvote is an upvote for Stockholm Syndrome. The felines have you under control and now you do what they meowed you.