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The original was posted on /r/lifeprotips by /u/ActBest217 on 2025-07-13 04:21:40+00:00.
If you want your relationship to last, help your partner get comfortable making decisions — and taking responsibility for what happens.
A lot of people grow up in families where their parents made every choice for them. It sounds protective (“I don’t want my kid to stress!”) but it backfires. They never really learn how to weigh options, make a call, and deal with the consequences.
So what happens in a marriage? One person makes all the decisions — big or small — and the other just waits around to be told what’s happening. Where to live, what to buy, where to vacation, even what’s for dinner. This builds resentment on both sides: one feels overburdened, the other powerless (and frustrated when things don’t go well).
If you notice this dynamic, talk about it. Encourage your partner to step up. For example:
Let them plan the next weekend getaway — pick the spot, book the hotel, decide what you’ll do.
Take turns deciding what’s for dinner instead of “I don’t care, you choose.”
For big purchases, weigh the pros and cons together instead of one person defaulting to “Whatever you think.”
Bonus tip: When things don’t go perfectly (because they won’t!), resist the urge to play the blame game. If your partner makes a call and it flops, don’t throw it back in their face. Mistakes are how you both grow. The goal is to build trust and confidence — not fear of “getting it wrong.”
It’s not about dumping decisions on each other — it’s about practicing doing life together. Shared decisions mean shared wins and shared lessons when things flop. That’s how trust grows and resentment fades.