this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 83 points 2 months ago (10 children)

I am what you would call a technology enthusiast, or what some people have dubbed as a gadget whore. I love little electronic devices that make my life easier. However, at no time in my life, will I ever need or desire a toothbrush that needs WiFi access or a subscription to some service. It really isn’t necessary or even useful. It’s like the old comic about the toilet that needs a phone app.

[–] Gates9@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

More like “Enshitify app”, amirite?

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 9 points 2 months ago

Deshittify, technically.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

old comic

12-13-24

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

But then how will you download the latest pulse patterns? You could be missing out on a more optimal brushing experience.

Reminds me of my Dyson fan. When I put it away for the season the battery inside the remote leaked and the remote is dead now. So I download the Dyson remote control app. There’s only an on button on the fan itself, so in order to sync my phone to the fan i need the original remote to navigate the settings and go to “sync”

So my dead remote is required to activate any other remote

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[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If you meet a man who has been logged out of his toothbrush, do not mourn him. He has chosen thus. He is exactly where he has desired to be.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Mourn for this man, not for his choices but for his lack of them; a store selling expired milk should be put out of business by the authorities, not by a mob of post-poisoned shoppers.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

That's communist talk. Those shoppers should have done their research before buying bad milk.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

That's free-market naïveté . No one has the time to be an expert in every field to always make the informed choice.

Do you read the labels on tangerines to check which antibiotics were used against citrus-greening? Do you even know if that's something you should be worrying about? Is Anti-Microbial Resistance something to legitimately be afraid of when buying tangerines?

(I leave this as an exercise for the so-called informed reader....)

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[–] AnAverageSnoot@lemmy.ca 39 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Although I don't have one that's smart, I have researched enough into electric toothbrushes to know that this title is exaggerating. The app is just to store your brushing information. People like tracking data about themselves as it helps with positive reinforcement. The app just allows you to see your analytics much like an app to count your steps or activity levels. It in no way "disables" your brushing experience.

[–] OddMinus1@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 months ago

I have one that is smart, and you are spot on. It was nice to use in the beginning to get an idea of what pressure is recommended and time spent on each section. But I have uninstalled and been running app free for several years now - with zero issues.

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

This seemed a little clickbait-y

[–] Ethalis@jlai.lu 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why did you have to login in the first place? What's an "Oral-B brushing experience"?

[–] Deme@sopuli.xyz 67 points 2 months ago (15 children)

It's the experience of a toothbrush collecting data about your daily routines to sell for profit.

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[–] Vinstaal0@feddit.nl 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can use the Oral B with some electric brushes to see where you have brushed and where you haven't to help you with not missing anything.

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 21 points 2 months ago (4 children)

You have brushed in New York and Philadelphia this week!

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Suspicious activity has been detected in your toothbrush in Hong Kong. Your account has been locked for your security.

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[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So, class war or butlerian jihad? Pick at least one.

[–] WhatGodIsMadeOf@feddit.org 24 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Why? Because you were dumb enough to buy, or manipulated into buying the toothbrush.

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[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This is hilarious. I laughed for some time.

"Log back in to continue your OralB brushing experience"

Who thought it would be a good idea to have an online toothbrush, who decided to log customers out after a period of inactivity, and why, for all that is sane in the world, would not being logged in stop you from doing anything at all with your toothbrush!?!

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[–] AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 months ago (8 children)

My toothbrush is as dumb as it comes. The only smart thing it does is charging itself when I put it in its charger base. And that should be the standard.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Having to log back in is just part of the Oral-B Brushing Experience™

I prefer the cheap-fucking manual brush my dentist gives me every visit experience.

[–] TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Hey everybody! Get a look at Money Bags over here being able to afford to go to the dentist!

(kidding, low key jealous... please marry me so I can have benefits/health coverage)

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Who said I go frequently? It's been ages. I really need a new brush, too... 😔

[–] Tetsuo@jlai.lu 12 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I found a 350€ OralB toothbrush in a shop recently in France.

I couldn't believe the amount of bullshit you have to cram in to up a toothbrush to that level of price.

Pic :

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 13 points 2 months ago

My sister, a dentistry student, got one in a promo event. It glows when you walk by to remind you to brush. Drove me nuts.

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[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Because you don't want someone else using your toothbrush on your account. Do you?

Edit to add: just thought of the implications. It'll totally screw up your algorithm. Just like how now that my kids can get on YouTube in the living room, I only get suggestions for Minecraft videos. I don't even like Minecraft.

[–] biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

Imagine explaining the concept of this to a 16th century peasant, let alone some rich person from the 2000s, like nobody would've ever been ready to comprehend the existence of a wi-fi enabled toothbrush.

[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Escalator temporarily stairs

[–] JohnSmith@feddit.uk 5 points 2 months ago

Rhod Gilbert on toothbrush is worth watching if you haven’t seen it yet.

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