memes

1. Everything else on the list
2. Onion rings

What can I say, I love tubers

Yes. To all of them.

1. Waffle fries (always crispy and delicious)
2. Curly fries (same)
3. Tater tots (surprisingly good)
4. Wedges, if properly spiced
5. Good onion rings
6. Shoestring, if not limp
7. Bad onion rings
8. Bad wedges
9. Crinkle cut (zigzag) (usually unflavored and soggy from a bag, but can be better than soggy shoestrings)
10. Bad shoestrings
11. Sweet potato fries (always soggy and I don't like sweet potato very much)

I think onion rings and tots need to be removed from the list as neither are potato based. Substitute latkes and hash browns in their places.

I'm not too fussy about my deep fried treats. They're all no. 1 in my book. Except sweet potato, they can fuck off. They taste fine, but why are they always soggy?

Most of these are good, just for different things. I want waffle fries at the bar; I want shoestring fries at the burger place; I want wedges at the cafe on the corner.

Except the zigzags. I don't think I've ever had a good zigzag.

2: Top tier. I would suck a curly fry-wrapped dick as a side dish to my communion.

8: As pictured, yes. With their typical batter style that allows the onion to slide out? Fucking garbage. 1: A solid choice that reheats well and consistently delivers the yum.

7: Tasty and a fun puzzle as you try to reconstruct the potato.

3: Plain tots? Fuck outa here. Bump that shit up with some totchos.

4: Good in theory, dry as fuck in practice. Texture is inconsistent and offensive to autism.

5: What the fuck is wrong with you? Deadass. Explain your trauma to me.

6: Somehow chalk that reheats into more chalk. Your mom said not to fast food and then pulled these out the oven. Worse than a sweet potato fry.

list is missing Fried Tofu

since we're apparently just including any random fuckin food you can fry

What the heck kind of list is this?

Where are the steak fries?

• Wedges
• Curly
• Zigzag
• Shoestring
• Waffle
• Tots
• Sweet Potato (not a potato but closer than an onion)
• Onion Rings (not a potato, would be 3 otherwise)

Where are the cheese curds? Fucking profligates is deep fried cheese too good for ya?

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8, 2 4, 3, 1, 6, 7, 5

Assuming they onion rings are beer batter and the curly fries are from Arby's.

I'm gonna have to lock in Onion Rings as my final answer.

1, 7, 6, 4, 8, 3, 2, 5

When cooked well enough, I'd say 1 2 4 5 8 3 6 7.

Ain't no way I'd ever put wedges higher or shoelace lower. Those are always gonna be constant.

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Zig zag/crinkle cut goes to the back and I think waffle deserves the #1 spot personally. I agree with the rest of the ordering otherwise.

If we are rating the best type of fries then onion rings are last, being that they aren't even potato.

Straight out of the fryer

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If it's been on the plate for 10m

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Best to worst:

• wedges (like a mini baked potato, but better!)

• shoestring (a tried & true classic)

• curly (the perfect blend of potato & seasoning)

• zigzag (sometimes can be a bit mushy)

• tots (sometimes give me heartburn for some reason)

• waffle (often don’t get cooked all the way, if they stick together)

• onion rings (a decent alternative to potato based side, but I can’t eat more than a few)

• sweet potato (they just don’t fry right. The texture gets weird and the taste is off)

Whatever as long as it's not sweet potato.

I need more popcorn for parsing these comments

1-4, 6-8 YESSSSSSS 5 NO!