I never had an ice cream.
I was ejaculated :(
this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Tbh if I could choose between ice cream or not being born, I'd go with the latter
Tombstone Creamery 
He literally has ice cream in his hand lying piece of shit
lactose intolerant antinatalism
Imagine if these were your parents
Me - small and picking my nose. "Dad, what did I do now?"
My dad (aka Unknown) is filed with fire and brimstone "Your sister pointed out you went to school without your cross to bear like Jesus did for all mankind but especially us. Is that true?"
"The cross is so heavy and it puts a dent in my shoulder!"
"So it's true. You're grounded. For six months. And I'm giving you a bigger, heavier cross to bear plus a crown of thorns. You mother was right. You need to be whipped into shape."
Everyone has a giant cross to bear. Yours is this giant cross.
Son, I am so happy I didn't get brainwashed by satanists into aborting you.
tfw no ice cream 
Pour one out for the aborted grandkid, rip.
same
SMH, real missed opportunity to name "UNKNOWN" Cletus "The Treatless" Fetus
Stalin had him aborted so he could eat TWO plombir
I never liked the folksy (or faux-folksy) aesthetics of conservatism.
Each week I'm a little more surprised the Rich Men of Richmond guy hasn't been exposed as a totally astroturfed troubadour with undeniable smoking guns. I'll have to keep waiting.
When the news breaks - libs will quickly spread the news and yell "Hypocrite!" They love to do that shit. But of course it won't even matter. He will have well-served his purpose. And next year there will be some other "real America" serve as a propaganda tool and ideally sell product too.
His success was due to a conservative guy promoting him, don't think he's totally in on it because he likes the publicity, but hates the people who are praising his song.
He's your run of the mill dumb libertarian bro that got "discovered" by a rich MAGA guy who promoted the fuck out of him because he said the Reagan thing about welfare queens in his song which is all they hear.
The ironic/satire portrayal of such aesthetics in the Fallout series has been like flypaper for right wingers admiring the blue curtains.
It doesn't help that the irony/satire has worn down over time and is basically gone by FO76.
I never had icecream
Stalin killed my great grandfather
Incredibly normal things happening here.