I'm honestly pretty tired of "horny bard" jokes. Yes, bards are horny, but so is just about every other class. Why do you think a wizard spent hours learning how to charm people? Have you ever seen a paladin with chastity as one of their tenets? Warlocks are into magical findom. Monks have mastered the Open Palm with quick motions. And we all know what druids are getting up to.
this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2025
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Then make those posts. Be the change you want to see in the world.
I was a horny halfling with 4 CHR
Okay. So, what class was it?
I think I was a barbarian
I was named Kevin, the DM decided I was schizophrenic and gave me a bear-coat named Devin that told me to murder hobo. I didn't murder hobo but I did accidentally push over an ice statue when trying to carry it downstairs (i failed a strength check with 1) and they were really vital to the story so we had to side track to find her sister, and gave her the melted pieces of her sister that I killed (I also ran away from the scene so no one knew who did it)
Is this a copypasta? I'm getting some deja vu reading it.
Nope. It's from the heart.
Well, now it is
Whats that guillotine used for cutting off? That hole is far too small for a neck to fit.
The post title might give you a hint
A true bard would get his wiwi chopped off and immediately learn how to give the most mind-blowing oral you've ever felt, and continue seducing people for the love of the game.
Wouldn't the bard just seduce the executioners?