It says a lot about the Democrats that their only guy is an 80 year old credit card crook responsible for about half of the crises facing the country and whose ability to draw a clock is an open question. That's it. That's all they've got.
this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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chapotraphouse
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The presidential debate should just be a live dementia test
"I can do dozen a dozen pushups. How many can you do, jack?"
"Draw a clock."
"How many?"
"Draw a clock."
"How many pushups can you do? I bet you can't even do one."
"Draw a clock, Old Joe. Draw a clock."
Might fuck around and start the "Draw a clock" party which challenges all political candidates to draw a fucking clock in a controlled setting.
This one hurts. It's a primo meme-o, but oof.
liberals when trump might be scared of stairs: 
liberals when biden keeps actually falling on stairs and his staff have to take special precautions: 
- Feels hot ✅
- Things are horrible and always getting worse ✅
- Can't feel joy or hope ✅
- An ancient and malevolent patriarch controls my fate ✅
Gang I think I've come to the scientific conclusion that we're all in hell
"No tennis shoes in hell, fat."
"In hell they don't even allow tennis shoes. They are forced to make them for pennies a day for demon party leaders while going barefoot. You can't imagine that under capitalism."
EvilCorp's CEO laughs. The shoes aren't even going to be made in Hell anymore. EvilCorp got outsourcing contract from the devil to make the shoes on earth with prison labor.
And to bring it all the way back around, Earth is now just the second circle of hell, which of course means that once again further labor exploitation has been shifted to its relative global South.
the secret team making sure Biden doesn't look like a shambling bag of bones should worry less about secrecy and more about how he's a shambling bag of bones.
remember that debate where his eye exploded or when his teeth fell out? this is four years later.
We don't want a spry 80 year old oh my god what is wrong with them
Edit: okay there's one spry 80 year old we want
Edit: okay there's one spry 80 year old we want
I miss having hope :yea:
In the Congressional Cafeteria - navy bean soup was on sale
Biden looked unprofessional--tootsies protruding--before voters in his comfy sneakers. Very disrespectful!
this but a toe
healthcare pls
Death to America
How you look falling down needs to be part of the primary process. Will the candidate tuck and roll with aplomb or do they splat out like a Family Guy character?
From the lib POV - it really always boils down to - our old guys is great and your old guy is orange man bad.
Leftist: "He fell down again. He's not fit to be president even now. How will you spin that?"
Lib: "I do not need to 'spin' it. He gets style points from me in fact. Like an Olympic gymnast not quite hitting the landing - he tucked and rolled with aplomb. Imagine if Trump had fallen down. First..."
Monkey's paw finger curls
US Presidential Elections will now be decided by Willy Wonka rolls.
"Biden does pushups. That only proves he's not dead. I mean - still live but not strong and powerful. Strong and powerful but Trump is limber too. Limber - funny word. Sounds like 'timber' but no wood. And any time I want - I can do a Willy Wonka roll." Some in the audience start yelling out "Now!" Trump pauses. The "Now!" has becomes a chant. He is slightly annoyed. "Not now - I'm wearing a suit. But any time I want - I can do a Willy Wonka roll..."
Just genetically engineer every president to be the Michelin Man
Sure, it's the voters who are worried.
All of this for four more years of further decay. 
Don't worry - they got this. They're always planning ahead. - https://hexbear.net/post/695950?scrollToComments=false
You might have seen it already but just in case.
Man, Bernie Sanders legit had a bird check him out at a rally. I'm not saying a social democrat is the fix to the world being on fire, but the dude has Disney Princess powers and instead we got this shambling, senile symbol of an empire in its waning century. Appropriate, but damn.