So, I’ve been experimenting with some next-level archival solutions, and I think I’ve finally found the ultimate long-term storage medium: your friendly neighborhood black hole.
Hear me out.
Why?
- A stellar-mass black hole (~10 M☉) won’t evaporate via Hawking radiation for ~1067 years. Even a puny one lasts waaaay longer than any tape library. Perfect for safeguarding cute anime girls and pixel-perfect PFPs against cosmic bit rot.
- We're talking data cramming at Planck-scale density here, folks. I can shove my entire 10 PB collection into a single photon stream and let gravity do the rest.
- Thanks to the holographic principle and black hole complementarity, in theory the info isn’t lost, it’s just scrambled on the event horizon. It’s like zstd on steroids.
How?
- Encode your data into ultra-short, high-intensity laser pulses (think 10 fs pulse width, 1015 W peak power).
- Aim at a nearby stable black hole. I’m using V616 Mon (∼3,000 ly away) since it’s not in any hurry to evaporate.
- Leverage gravitational lensing to fold your beam right into the event horizon. No terrestrial storage media can touch that SLA.
Hold up. I know what you're thinking.
If you’re worried about dust, plasma, or interstellar medium corrupting your beam, just slap on a neutrino-encoding fallback. Nobody’s messing with neutrino tomography before the heat death of the universe anyway.
Retrieval?
I fully acknowledge this is conjectural. But if Stephen Hawking was right, future civilizations with quantum gravity compilers could decode the information and attain waifu enlightenment. I know this is totally theoretical, but so was RAID 10 before it shipped.