Shitty sysadmin

Probably stone tablets. Once written, no moving parts, and they last thousands of years. And you can find them laying around anywhere for free.

Edit: quick math. If we assume roughly one bit per square mm, you'd need about 24,000 km^2 of stone. So if you happen to be located in Northern Canada, you're all set.

Dunno about solid state drives but i hear theres great deals on gas or liquid state drives; Hard to interface with tho, the metal dust and water goes everywhere.

You would need less space if you didn’t have to store the apostrophes you’re incorrectly using for plural SSDs.

(“SSD’s is possessive, not plural”)

I recently upgraded my desktop to the 1EX model, so I am selling my 3PB model (ST30000000000000004Q9) if you want it. No lowballs, I know what I got.

Idk if you know this but flash drives are cheap and have 0 moving parts, just get a server with nothing but USB ports and you're golden.