this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
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Can't trust anyone today....

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[–] pottedmeat7910@lemmy.world 125 points 2 years ago (2 children)

My wife is a surgeon... Or as she puts it, "Standing in the way of God since 2005".

[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Meanwhile, God: 😏

[–] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 91 points 2 years ago

Just once I want to see a coach post game blaming God for favoring the other team.

[–] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 54 points 2 years ago (1 children)

“Listen Jesus he’s got 15 years left to pay on his mortgage and at least 10 years of labor we can squeeze out of him. Plus this $110k medical bill to pay. You’re not taking him yet, you son of a bitch”

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

$110k? That's it? Damn, that's some good insurance!

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago

$110k is just the copay.

[–] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 47 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I have a feeling that some nutjob out there is saying this unironically.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 38 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I mean there are people who refuse medical assistance because "god will heal me"

So yeah. There are multiple nutjobs unfortunately

Edit: idfk how but autocorrect turned nutjobs into buttons.

[–] demlet@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago

Yeah, a bunch of them were Covid deniers who ran to the hospitals when they got sick and clogged them up for responsible people. Buncha faithless hypocrites, just stay home and follow God's Plan...

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

When you allow the lunacy that death, and therefore afterlife is a treatment option, well...

[–] query@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago

It's called Christian Science.

[–] Salsifi@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

Always assume the worst, specially with nutjobs !

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I always see "unironically" and pronounce the "uni" part like "university". Such a weird word.

[–] Pantoffel@feddit.de 3 points 2 years ago

Perhaps we are pronouncing "university" just incorrectly. Perhaps in the days of creation of the university it was meant to be a word for "un-diversity" -> "university"

[–] LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world 32 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Alternative caption: why are you removing the tumor I put in there? I haven’t yet received enough likes and prayers on Facebook.

[–] altasshet@lemmy.ca 22 points 2 years ago (4 children)
[–] dingus@lemmy.ml 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What, just because he's the son of God you think his human form is somehow special and immune to male pattern baldness?

[–] altasshet@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Not gonna lie, this is a bit of a let down for me.

[–] dingus@lemmy.ml 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

A God who puts tumors into people for fun wasn't the let down?

[–] altasshet@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

That's just normal God stuff. Doing his own son dirty like that seems special, though.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Don't blame god. It's from Mary's father's side.

[–] frokie@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But god could’ve picked someone else or prevented Mary from receiving those genes

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

You are putting a lot of faith in the problem solving ability of the same guy that put his brand new creation in a garden with his biggest fuck up and a yummy fruit tree and said, "I made you dumb, but I hope you understand that this tree of knowledge is off limits to your dumb ass. And don't listened to Mr. Hissy."

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I mean, he already let him get crucified.

[–] Kandorr@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I thought it was Jake the snake

[–] yumpsuit@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

‘I banish thee, Lucifer!’

[snake leaves the wound and slithers back into the wedding present for Macho Man]

[–] Scooter411@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago

In this episode Jesus will be played by Michael Keaton.

[–] BassaForte@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Griever Jesus is the best name I’ve ever heard for a metal band 😂

[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

It may not be Jesus, but it's definitely is gods will.

[–] Pistcow@lemm.ee 14 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 years ago (4 children)
[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault? Instead, you should have created a world of wonder and whimsy...in LittleBigPlanet."

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 2 years ago

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[–] demlet@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

How dare you?

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Truly one of the great monologues.

[–] yumpsuit@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

His Only Begotten Son in there contaminating the sterile field. Brown Jesus would mask up in a gatdam hospital

[–] RQG@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Jesus Harold Christ!