I needed to hear this today. Even amongst other disabled people, I feel like a failure because of the things I cannot do.
this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2025
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Chronic Illness
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There are many variations of disability. Some are easy to work around some are not. if you can work around yours great - but not everyone can
I never let my disability stop me. It stops me. I never let it but I don't have the capacity to stop it, so letting it is moot. If I have a bad day I simply cannot do certain things. It is not permission, it is not my will, it is not weakness, it is a disability.
Yes. Giving disabled a chance does not mean forcing them trying.
Shit, it doesn't matter if two people have the exact same underlying condition, with as identical lives as is possible, it's still bullshit.
I get it though, I do get it. The road to accepting one's disability, finding the balance with it, it's a hard one, and sometimes taking pride in what one has managed to do can turn into exactly what that statement represents: arrogance.
I wish I could say I've never made that mistake, of saying to someone that the victories I've had mean that they can, or should, have the same goals an outcomes. Like I said, the road is a twisty and confusing one. Hell, I still don't have full acceptance of things, and I still fuck up with generalizing my experiences when looking at others'.
Which is to say that this is an important thing for folks to be aware of, and thanks for bringing it up
Yeah ... I know now ... I used to complain about my arthritis and told people it wasn't that bad and it didn't stop me. I'd put up with the pain and keep working and doing stuff.
Then about two years ago, I woke up one morning and I couldn't freakin raise my arms above my head ... I thought it was the end and that this stupid disease was expediting my trip to the grave. It was absolutely miserable demoralizing and depressing.
It took about a month of gentle exercising and I finally got motion back. Ever since then, any time anyone mentions pain to me again - I'll always sympathize with them .
The way people take credit for outcomes on the positive side of the ledger and disavow their shortcomings is hilarious and a natural consequence of an individualistic point of view.
Nobody chooses their DNA, family, religion, trauma, place of birth, etc. Why are we taking responsibility or credit for things we have zero control over?