this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 93 points 5 months ago
[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 69 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Based off of the try-hard linkedin douches I know I'd say:

  • The Art of War
  • Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
  • The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
  • Rich-dad poor-dad
  • The Art of the Deal
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 34 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If this is the approach, Infinite Jest and War and Peace are solid options. Maybe Oversized Penises for Dummies.

[–] makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Fuck great call. I thought having two "war" novels might make the joke worse but Infinite Jest is peak big brain public masturbation reading material

[–] Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Lol, I literally got called out for reading Infinite Jest on a bus. Wasn't a flex, the bus was just my primary reading time on weekdays and it was on my 'to finish' list.

Agreed that I probably looked like a jackass.

Habits of Highly Successful People

[–] chemicalwonka@discuss.tchncs.de 50 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 54 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

He should know. He already read a different book about a guy who was hung like this:

1000004309

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 37 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If you mean reading performatively ALOUD on public transportation, there's only one choice: The Bible, King James Version.

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[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 36 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] hash@slrpnk.net 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 5 months ago

I won't accept this anti pigeon rhetoric.

[–] cymbal_king@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 5 months ago

Is the answer the implied threat of uncivil resistance?

[–] mvirts@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Oh god do people think you're being performative when you read in public transport?

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 5 months ago

Only people who don't read.

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

House of Leaves. That way if anyone notices you’re holding it upside down they’ll just think you’re really into it. And if anyone asks you what it’s about you can say “I have no fucking clue what’s happening, there’s a house I think?” and you’ll be correct.

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Um. I think it's pretty easy to understand, but it's all a meta-narrative with an unreliable narrator.

The narrative devices are quite ingenious.

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

I love the book, just gently poking fun.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 5 months ago

I watched a video essay on MyHouse.wad. I've never played Doom or read House of Leaves. Now I don't need to do either.

[–] archonet@lemy.lol 15 points 5 months ago

Surviving Life With Your Gigantic Penis by Chris Boden.

Yes, that's the title of an actual book.

[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How about an oversized Dr Seuss book?

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[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Did any of Chuck Tingle's books get physical releases?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Print them out on computer paper and staple your own!

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago (3 children)

If you’re on a bus, read the novelization of Speed.

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[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Moby Dick. It is free, unnecessarily long, really wordy, and mostly boring.

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 9 points 5 months ago

Lolita while furrowing your brow and shaking your head so everyone knows you disagree with the protagonist's actions.

[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

No go hard mode, "Fox in socks" you have a total of 2 minutes.

[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Can reccomend the the epic of Gilgamesh, just be sure you don't actually enjoy reading it, or else you'd just be reading on the bus...

[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 8 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Is the new thing making fun of people who read on the train? I do it all the time ☹️

[–] SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

John said "reading performatively" - so, unless you're doing that...

[–] Jtotheb@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thankfully the people in charge of deciding whether your actions are performative or not have great judgment

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[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I’m curious to know what counts as performative reading haha

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[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

A nearly monotone, apathetic reading of The Stranger or The Plague.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 7 points 5 months ago

Is there a book about how Ayn Rand was a total piece of shit that helped ruin America?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 months ago

The dictionary

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 5 months ago

A Critique of Pure Reason

[–] ZMoney@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Anything by Chuck Tingle

[–] introvertcatto@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Can't go wrong with Hobbit and LOTR!

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 months ago

It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago

Go Dog, Go!

Do you like my hat?

[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 5 months ago

You can never go wrong with the classic, Turtleneck top, glases (not optional), sneakers, Ulysses.

There is a more modern way though, bring a travel chessboard and do random moves, then look at your phone type somethgin, wait, and then make another random move.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Real talk, H.G. Wells was a fantastic author and his biggest hits are both immediately recognizable enough to be a performative conversation starter while also having the added bonus/hazard of potentially accidentally getting into it.

War of the Worlds, The Time Machine and The Invisible Man are all ones I've recently listened via Librivox (I linked the specific readers I listened to) during my commutes, but of course, my goal is to actually enjoy the books

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