I have had many people over the years tell me without any kind of prompting that "I need Jesus."
"Yes," is my stock response. "I know I'm fresh out. I'll pick up some more at the store on the way home."
It usually gets them out of my face.
this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2025
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I'll have to reuse that one 🙂
Jesus was deported by ICE though
"Don't you have time for our lord and saviour?"
"I still haven't finished reading the Times, I'll drop by them when I'm done"
If you (ExtremeDullard) are an amputee then I have some bad news for you.
God hates you.
Think about it: god made the deaf hear, the blind see, the mute speak, the lame walk, the possessed clean, cured leprosy, made prostitutes saints and raised the dead.
But not one single amputee in the history of humanity has ever regrown a limb.
Ergo, god hates amputees.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Ask her “would you pray to me if I disabled you? It’s all part of my plan for you!”
"shoulda started masturbating right there. commenting, 'this is how we pray to biggusdickus', or something."
<reads "arms grow back">
Shit.
In any case, yeah. it always amazes me the logic behind prayer, and how everything bad is your fault because "sin".... but everything good is because god did something. they can't say what. but, you got that promotion because of god. you're still alive. cuz god. you're kids got a's. cuz god. it has absolutely nothing to do with hardwork and taking care of yourself, none at all. it's all god. unless its bad. then it's definitely your fault.
“shoulda started masturbating right there. commenting, ‘this is how we pray to biggusdickus’, or something.”
With 15 other people in the gym room, I don't think so. But amusing thought nonetheless 🙂
It's communion!
Why? Are you shy or something? 🙂
You think thats funny?
Wait until biggusdickus hears about this.
When I was a kid I heard the same type of bull shit spewed from even my mom. Someone in a wheel chair had some sort of disability, and I hear my mom say, god would heal them if they prayed more and stopped swearing so much. I think this was one of the things that had a huge impact in turning me away from god. Such petty and disgusting gossip, but the disabled person is the one god needs to forgive...