this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
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The Onion

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[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 83 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Falling down the stairs is probably the least harmful thing he's done in his political career.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago

That's not fair, the stairs didn't deserve to get jump scared by his face

[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 50 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The Onion has been firing on all cylinders today.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 34 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The Onion doesn’t have to aim to hit anything anymore.

[–] pdxfed@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

The good news is everything is a hit. The bad news is the entire Battleship board is covered by your opponent.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Today? They've been amazing for like.....30 years or more.

[–] Sgt_choke_n_stroke@lemmy.world 46 points 6 months ago (2 children)

When your expected death is celebrated rather than mourned. You lead a shit life.

Jerry fallwell Rush Limbaugh and Pat robinson come to mind. Im glad those fuckers are dead. I'm waiting for dennis pragurs back injury to go south.

[–] Wahots@pawb.social 4 points 5 months ago

Not soon enough. Should have been 10+ years ago. His refusal to confirm the supreme court pick probably fucked us for decades.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, I don't like to be a grammar Nazi, especially while we're discussing actual Nazis...

But his name is Penis Prager

[–] Sgt_choke_n_stroke@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

My fault and thank you for the correction.

Well now that he's a quadriplegic he won't be playing with his penis pragur (☞゚ヮ゚)☞

[–] Punchshark@lemmy.ca 25 points 6 months ago (2 children)

All I see when I look at this guy is the Pale Man from Pans Labyrinth

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 8 points 6 months ago

A movie where they were terrorized by nazis, no less.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 19 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Falling down the stairs is the only time he's risen in political popularity.

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 9 points 6 months ago

I would vote for him if he promised to continually fall down stairs.

[–] AnarchoSnowPlow@midwest.social 19 points 6 months ago

I love this for him.

[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago

Yeah if that headline could just be tomorrows, everywhere.

[–] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

We NEED to Follow in his Footsteps! Everyone FALL DOWN STAIRS!

-The DNC!

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

It's the only thing that will protect us from the Terrible Secret of Space.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

15% dog shit mixed with beetle and other bug parts.

[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

Worst pokemon ever only got 1 move and it does negative damage

[–] knightly@pawb.social 6 points 6 months ago

Time for a deep cut:

Mitch McConnell? More like Tumbles the Stair Dragon.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago

Why is it that these dipshits only start dying off or (In John Boehner and Paul Ryan's cases retiring) when worse dipshits show up?

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago
[–] Plebcouncilman@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 months ago

🫡 a true American patriot

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

He's still in Congress so clearly he's not falling down enough of them.

[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

I’m half convinced that he’s being Weekend At Bernies’ed around the senate floor by his aides.