Asklemmy

god

If I had to pee really bad I would eat bread or crackers because it would absorb the pee and not make me have to go.

I thought answering machines were something just made up by TV shows because we never had an answering machine.

I live in Ontario and Quebec was undergoing a referendum to leave Canada when I was a kid. I asked my Dad if Canada would still be the second biggest country if Quebec left.

He was impressed by the insightful question, but in reality I thought Quebec was just the tiny town where my Grandma lived.

Other than organized religion, you mean?

Probably that cops are benevolent keepers of the peace and that putting humans in cages decreases crime.

I believed in the American Civic Religion.

That my parents were people I could trust.

that adults are trustworthy

I thought that there was one guy named Michael J---son who used his fame as an NBA star to launch a career as pop singer, radically changing his appearance in the process. I don't think I realized they were different people until high school.

When I was little people said dogs would sniff you to figure out who you are. I thought when a dog smells you they know your name, address, ...

And maybe they do?

Step dad convinced me that those chocolate oranges were natural from a chocolate orange tree..

When I was little, I used to think that before I was born (1977), people and the world in general were in black and white. All the photos I had of my family before my birth were in black and white.

That if I went to Planet Hollywood for dinner I would definitely meet Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Parents told me if I could get salt on a birds tail I'd be able to catch it.

Pretty sure they told me that shit to at least increase the challenge of actually catching birds so I didn't try to bring one in.

I thought the world used to be black and white and turned to color sometimes in the early 60's. Ironically that's about the same time color TV came into prominence.

I noticed there was always a gust of wind after cars passed, so I concluded wind was caused by invisible cars driving by. Storms were caused by the invisible drivers driving too fast.

I used to go outside during storms and yell at them to slow down. I was convinced it was working.

That the WWF was real

Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy, god, etc

That eggs are made in factories. I still haven't made peace with this, and lurk around egg equivalents (I'm not vegan).

Also when I was in kindergarden, I had terrible idea about how the map of our village looks like.

I learned how planes work before cars, so since faster cars always had more exhaust pipes than slower cars I presumed the concept of thrust was similar to a jet engine and had no idea that the wheels themselves were powered until I mentioned it when I was like 6-7.

I used to think Parkinson's disease was named after TV chat show host Michael Parkinson.

My grandmother told me that lightning is attracted to hair so I wouldn't go out during storms which I loved.

I thought vampires were real so I never slept with my back to the door for years thinking they'd bite me in my neck whilwt I slept.