Is this a parody, or did someone actually brag on twitter about having sex? I honestly can't tell what's satire any more.
this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2025
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Could be either way, honestly. He's a fundie who bragged about remaining a virgin until marriage. He finally got hitched to a former Miss Universe of all people, at age 32 or something.
Miss Universe
That shit's so rigged. Always an earthling. SMH
Yeah, pretty much don't stand a chance unless you're a featherless biped with two boobs.
Well who else would win, a vogon?
Well who else would win, a vogon?
Ummmm, this is so cringe:
https://www.orlandoweekly.com/news/looks-like-tim-tebow-has-finally-had-the-sex-26678445
Like a sea turtle trying to get up on a raft.
What a mental image. Brain bleach, stat, please.
I’m still chuckling over this.
That's not helping...
Might help some turts get in the mood?
I was at the zoo a few years ago when Aldabra Tortoises were fucking. It was that but a few octaves lower, and you could hear it from the start of the section. If you imaging what a large turtle fucking would sound like in some dumb sex comedy movie, it was exactly that.
Hahaha. I equally want to and don't want to experience that. Thank you for describing it. Much appreciated.
He had THE Sex. You know the one sex you get in your life and then never again.
God was there
In the corner
Quietly jerking off
Then cumming over the two of them
God is a kinky dude, I like him.
“And the Holy Spirit came upon them…”
Would you call that a blessing?
Sack-ra-ment?
I want your blessings all over my face
Ask and you shall receive
Can you feel the Holy Spirit inside you?
He was on the cuck chair
He got that woman pregnant once before her husband had even had a go.
From prima nocta to prima knocked-up.
And God was there!
Five years ago...
Probably had it a couple of other times since then. Would have to check his posts to be sure. Willing to bet there were maybe a few times where God was not there.
I used to fill in for god to watch him have sex, I thought him having god watch was for religious reasons, but he just can't get off unless someone's silently judging him in the corner.
Are they still married?
These types typically call it quits quickly
Even almighty God cannot witness things that fast.
he had the sex
And he came in three seconds.
Man, what a waste.
In Tebow's shoes I'd have been having sex with every woman I see.
So did Magic Johnson