this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 100 points 7 months ago (2 children)

"Professional Cuddling" is unironically a thing.

Welcome to the neoliberal hellscape of commodified human contact.

[–] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 29 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Uh sure, the neoliberals are to blame

[–] Lennny@lemmy.world 20 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Neoliberals probably commidicized that person's personality.

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 5 points 7 months ago

That's kinda their thing.

[–] slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 10 points 7 months ago

Stupid neoliberal 4000 year old profession.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Isn’t it mostly a front anyway?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

As much as professional masseuse is. Which is to say often enough, but not so often that honest professionals don't have to deal with creeps who can't take a hint on the regular.

[–] tiramichu@lemm.ee 69 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

"If you want me to stroke your hair and tell you everything's gonna be okay, that's extra."

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 33 points 7 months ago

Worth every cent.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 53 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Butters' bitches selling hugs and kisses on the playground.

[–] Lighttrails@sh.itjust.works 24 points 7 months ago

Yes I know what you are saying

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 22 points 7 months ago

Prostitute: .... here's $5, now go away!

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 18 points 7 months ago

This is a real thing. Sex workers often report having clients who don't want sex but just attention (physical or otherwise).

[–] sumguyonline@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Keep going. Eventually the physical pain of having no human contact goes away entirely. The longing for touch becomes weird and foreign. Then nothing matters and you are free finally.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Ah, straight Lemmy here

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago

"GFEs cost extra."

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 14 points 7 months ago (4 children)
[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 20 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Hugs shot JR

[–] Zementid@feddit.nl 3 points 7 months ago

For freeing Hat!

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Free hugs… on your dick?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 points 7 months ago

I expect dick hugs to be much cheaper that full-body hugs.

[–] KnightontheSun@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Years ago in Hyde Park there was a man with a Free Hugs sign. I walked up and asked, “Are you giving or receiving?” He shrugged and we hugged.

[–] Naz@sh.itjust.works 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Best comment I've read in ages

[–] KnightontheSun@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Wow, high praise indeed! Thank you.

Of note that I failed to mention was that this man was on Speaker’s Corner and nestled amongst a dozen others shouting and ranting their particular rendition of Truth. I spotted him immediately and was drawn in. He being the obvious and most sensible option for engagement.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 3 points 7 months ago

Premiums hugs that I rather not give away because people are monsters, $250 for 5 seconds.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago
[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

The true attention whore

[–] 4oreman@lemy.lol 7 points 7 months ago
[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

And can I pay over 6 weeks?

[–] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 7 months ago

Both fully clothed? Double-safe hug! Smaller chance of actual skin-to-skin contact.

[–] Vorticity@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

For a minute I thought she had a five-o-clock shadow. Turns out my screen was dirty.

[–] SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org -1 points 7 months ago

"Fuck off, Brock Turner"