The Onion

This isn't even humor at this point. I'm legitimately starting to think The Onion is in the midst of transitional changes to becoming a legitimate news outlet that just reports news.

Like this one doesn't even seem absurd or funny. It just seems like the logical reaction people will have. This just comes off as a legit news report on an aburd situation. Rather than an absurd mocking news report on a realistically fake situatuation.

I truly hope that rat is shunned and shamed everywhere they go.

On NPR.... "The real hero...." Fuck you McDonald's asshole! Let us known when you realize how stupid your decision was.

I heard it was some boomer customer that ratted him out

I would seriously never speak to someone again if I learned they were on a jury that convicted Luigi.

This is an orgy of evidence, and feels like an arrest stemming from some illegal surveillance or intel means, a pretend phone call, and planted evidence.

It feels so much like when the allies would crack japanese codes and send a patrol plane to find a target, and make an excuse to go for the kill.

Maybe they'll use the 50k to escape Altoona and move to a country with better health care.

Honestly, if Luigi gets convicted by a jury of his own peers, it will just further prove that the ultra wicked never get their come uppance while the working class always do. That is some bullshit. Also, fuck that mcdonalds employee.

If only!