This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
I'm an Aussie, and had landed in America for a holiday. Was really hungry and figured I'd just get a Quarter Pounder meal from Maccas at the airport. Order a Large meal because that's what I'd normally get at home. They bring out like a litre of coke, a gigantic box of fries, and the burger. It was absolutely atrocious.
Many many years ago. I did some work in Texas. We go into this sit down place. Now, having been caught by the huge portions a previous evening I'm cautious. I just order a chicken burger. The waitress is all like "Oh are you sure, just the chicken burger on its own?" I'm thinking, oh well maybe things are normal size at this place. I order some fries to go with it.
Some time later the chicken burger arrives completely filling the full size plate it came on, and the fries came on an entirely separate plate.
I'm not a small guy, but I could not eat all that.
It's funny, because usually when the fries aren't included at a sit-down place it's because the restaurant is trying to squeeze a couple extra dollars out of you (maybe the sandwich is $2 cheaper than you'd expect but then you pay $5 for the fries because of course you want fries!). That stinginess mentality seems to go hand in hand with a smaller than average sandwich. But maybe my fat American ass can't scale portion sizes.
No, this is the thing. Compared to UK prices it was ridiculously cheap. In fact even when you add the higher expected tip it was cheap. And it was actually very nice. Just, so much food!
I once got a burger at South of the Border or smth like that in New Jersey. It was fucking huge and everybody including the waitress commented on how I ate with a fork and knife because it was just impossible to eat otherwise. And I ended up only eating half of it, because I was absolutely full. Insane portion sizes.
smth like that in New Jersey.
Jersey knows how to sandwich. Cannot f with Hoagies.
We went into a Jersey Mike's chain there. Have the same chain at home (not New Jersey)
I ordered a whole sub, they just piled the meat on. More and more. The sub cost $26. It was amazing though.
I went to a location in my home state, it was the same sub but like normal portions of meat. "Wait, I just had one of these in Jersey and it was like massive, what do I have to do to get one like that?" "Ohh you want double meat?" "double, triple, whatever they do up there, that was amazing"
What is atrocious here is your ungratefulness for the generosity of the American food industry.
Yeah I'm reading this Aussie orders a large meal, received a large meal, and was ungrateful. When you're in America, you accept your diabetes and say "thank you may I have another?"
I think the key is that a large in Australia and a large in America can be vastly different.
Wait...the smallest size in US is larger than the largest size in Oz? That aligns perfectly with my world view for once.
this img is 1000% outdated, the sizes are not that big anymore
Honestly it all depends on where you're at when your ordering. For example, that "Large" shown there is what you get at a movie theater when ordering a Small.
Yeah but he has reasonable healthcare so I, as an American, still don't see what the problem is.
Crocodile Dundee
thirst quenched by 650 ml
Pathetic. I will never respect an Australian again.
Don't Australians all hate America for having figured out how to make actually good beer?
Nah australians are too busy with other things to be hating. Surfing, smoking pot, hanging out with sasquaches, partying at the indigenous peoples sacred islands, and shooting the local wildlife. At least, thats what I learned from watching The Big Lez Show.
So it's just southern California?
I thought it was young Albert Einstein who figured out how to make actually good beer by splitting the beer atom and therefore introducing bubbles in an otherwise flat beer?
Australia adopted American innovations in good beer. What we complain about is that your mainstream beers are weak and boring, where ours are strong and boring
What I didn't like is in some states (such as New York) when I was last there don't require beer to carry alcohol content information, so buying good beer I had to trust that the beer was going to be about the right strength for the style
One thing I liked about Amtrak is they sold good local beers on board, though I only experienced Amtrak in the north east (having been told that that was the best way to arrive in New York City)
So you knew all the stories of American food portions and you still chose to order a meal that even we call "large"?
Not everything you read and hear is true, either way - I was not prepared for that much of a difference. This was like 10 years ago mind you, so the difference is either far less or much worse.
McD isn't even the worst offender either.
I always find it interesting that people outside the US think this is a complete joke when really it's just... only slightly exaggerated.
Many gas stations have 64oz cups by default. I haven't seen it in awhile, but the 128oz soda was real and used to be widely available.
I am a 'big' man and I would say that where things peaked in American culture as far as ridiculous sizes go was when a Starbucks-like chain operating in Florida was offering a 42-ounce version of a frappucino-type drink that Starbucks only provided a 24-ounce version of, this was shortly before Super Size Me came out which started to change the culture on those things.
I realize most of these are from gas stations, but most fast food sodas are like a third to a half way filled with ice lol.
I didn't click the link, but I'm going to go ahead and assume that's Super Troopers, with Farva trying to order a litre of cola
Nope, it's the Parks and Rec child size soda
Ha. Nice.
I should rewatch that
> Be me
> American college kid by himself in Italy for a week
> Staying at hotel with Italian hottie at the front desk
> Hell yeah, love this country
> Eating all the pizza cause that's Italian food, right?
> The pizzas are so goddamn thin
> Like eating a sheet of paper
> Eat an entire pizza and still hungry
> This goes on for like three days
> Tired of being hungry
> New pizza place, order three entire pizzas
> "They'll just think I'm picking up for my friends"
> Get my pizzas, hell yes
> Walk back to hotel
> Walk past the front desk carrying three pizzas
> Front desk hottie knows I'm there alone
> Cover blown
> Go up to my room and eat all three pizzas in shame
> Finally fucking full
Worth it.
"I have extra if you want some"
And like share the pizza? Ew.
Anon is a complete fucking idiot for not simply walking into a random Filipino’s house and politely asking for some homemade Filipino food. Idiot anon goes to the McD’s of the Philippines, and calls it a day. Filipinos have many insanely tasty dishes, and dumbfuck anon chooses garbage. Dinuguan (AKA chocolate meat) is my absolute favorite.
IUm, dinuguan is blood soup (root word is literally blood). I like it, but it has a pretty niche appeal, and you'll be hard pressed to find someone that'll serve it to a westerner.
But yeah, do yourself a favor and find a "carinderia" (or karinderya, depending on region) which roughly translates to "cafeteria" but is usually run by a sweet lady making as close as you'll get to homemade cooking. Some dishes to try:
Or branch out! It works kind of like Panda Express where you point to the dish(es) you want (called ulam) and they'll add rice (I recommend asking for extra). It's cheaper than any fast food chain and way better.
find a "carinderia" (or karinderya, depending on region) which roughly translates to "cafeteria" but is usually run by a sweet lady making as close as you'll get to homemade cooking.
This sounds awesome! Wish we had places like this in the States
Dominican places in Brooklyn can be like this. Awesome and cheap.
The concept is becoming more popular I'm the US I think. I just found out a bunch of Puerto Rican ladies essentially run a similar concept near me recently.
Just don't go to the Karenderia. It's run by a white woman that thinks she knows what she is doing, and wishes to speak to your manager.
Story is definitely real, so good on you for keeping it
If you're ordering burgers in the Philippines, you're doing life wrong. If you must go to Jollybee or McDonald's there, order fried chicken and thank me later.
Better yet, don't go there and instead find a carinderia. They often look sketchy, but it's as close to home cooking as you'll get and way cheaper than fast food. Nobody can afford fast food there, so all the locals eat at these little "cafeterias" and the food is fantastic.
The post on my screen was cut off at "skinny white man arrives", and I think it was perfect.
Lol they have been waiting weeks for you, they know your training schedule better than you do before you got off the plane. I traded a few goods in Thailand, they were like cookie monsters for American made knives, I traded a Kershaw leek for a khukri that was almost definitely melted Pepsi cans but it is still worth it
In all fairness, I do like hotdogs.
55 BURGERS
55 FRIES