this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 61 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The erection won't do you much good as you try to avoid going into respiratory arrest:

Symptoms may appear within 10 to 20 minutes after the bite, and death within two to six hours, where severe pain radiates to the rest of the limb, systemic effects include tachycardia, increased blood pressure, vertigo, fever, sweating, visual disturbances, nausea, vomiting, difficulty breathing and paralysis.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 25 points 9 months ago (2 children)

... But... Also the erection, yes? πŸ€”

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] MrLLM@ani.social 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Does this applies to 70 yo? Otherwise we don’t have a deal. Asking for a friend.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Fully erect, like hard in the tip

You’ll feel like a kid again

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 1 points 9 months ago

So, i see no downside here 😁

[–] Couldbealeotard@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The good news is you get a four hour erection.
The bad news is that you die within two hours.

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

Hey! Necrophiliacs need love, too!

[–] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 47 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Alternative wording is gives you an erection for the rest of your life.

[–] jimitsoni18@lemmy.zip 10 points 9 months ago

And even a few hours after that!

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 33 points 9 months ago (1 children)

So, uh, is the spider hotter in person? Because the picture isn't doing it for me.

[–] mEEGal@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

nope.

and it was a challengin fap indeed

[–] JeezNutz@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 months ago

I lasted 4 hours trying to cum

[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 22 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

FWIW, even if it only caused a four hour long erection, that is not what your partner is going to want.

Trust me on this.

After an hour--usually less than half an hour, IME--it's not going to matter how much lube you have, they're going to be hurting. You'll be frustrated, they'll be frustrated and in pain, and no one is going to be happy. Maybe there are a very, very few women that like getting pounded for over an hour straight, but I haven't dated one yet.

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 27 points 9 months ago

Maybe there are a very, very few women that like getting pounded for over an hour straight, but I haven’t dated one yet.

I have. She loved going for marathon sex sessions.

Just not with me.

[–] flicker@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

In a move I'm going to regret forever, I'll admit to the internet that I love being cuddle-fucked for literally as long as I can get it. (There's a catch- has to be my boyfriend.)

More than an hour and about 15 minutes and we'll probably need some lube, though.

After more than half an hour I just get bored.

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 14 points 9 months ago

and then you die.

[–] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Priapism isnt something you want. Eventually the blood will clot in your penis and no new blood can flow in, causing the cells in your penis to die from lack of oxygenated blood eventually leading to amputation. Better make those 4 hours count

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 9 months ago

Brazilian doctor: I'm sorry Sr. Joaquim. You only have 1 day left to live

Sr. Joaquim: grabs boots and very big knife

[–] prex@aussie.zone 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] chicolismo@programming.dev 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] prex@aussie.zone 1 points 9 months ago

Yeah.
As a fellow baldish person I like to think I just have very vivid dreams.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

You don't want that spider bite: https://youtu.be/JN0VtHez9xI (12:35 SmarterEveryDay video)