this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2024
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AMUSING, INTERESTING, OUTRAGEOUS, or PROFOUND

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[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 62 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm going to sue my scale manufacturer for making a scale that says I'm overweight.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm gonna sue my cardiologist for pointing out my heart disease!

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm going to sue the guy at the bar that tells me I'm always hammered when I see him but doesn't say the same thing to everyone else at the bar.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Sounds like my cardiologist

Also, missed ya, buddy -internet hug-

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

I love your damn face, friend. Fuck your cardiologist.

[–] lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I don't know the rapport you have but this is super sweet to see

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I'm a TexasDrunk and this is my life-mate of undetermined sexuality, thefartographer.

[–] WatDabney@sopuli.xyz 49 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah! It's obviously a deliberate manipulation when Google just links to negative stories about him instead of the positive ones, like... like... um... uh...

[–] lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 10 months ago

Like that one time he actually managed to keep his gob shut for three consecutive minutes?

It was a dentist visit. He refused to open his mouth until offered a candy.

(This story is made up for satirical purposes.)

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 22 points 10 months ago

reality has a democratic bias

[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

In case any of the mainstream media wonders if they’ll be thanked for their service.

[–] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

"Emperor suing child for claiming he was wearing no clothes."

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 13 points 10 months ago

Tilting at windmills

[–] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

I’m back for a double comment.

Why wait until elected, Don? Can you answer that?

[–] st3ph3n@midwest.social 4 points 10 months ago

What a fragile little bitch.

[–] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

really scary if he's this left behind in tech and he gets his dictator-in-one-day powers.

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 months ago

Imagine the profits of a middleman that'd drag Yandex (russian Google, now also russian Netflix, Uber, Amazon) into the US and allow these deals to happen.

[–] JoYo@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago

nothing to do with their political contributions

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago

Unfortunately he'll probably forget.