Gaming

There’s no age cutoff for enjoying games, but there’s definitely one for bringing it up, especially on a date. If I had to guess, I’d say that cutoff is in your early twenties, at most.

The stereotype is that gamers are immature misogynists who never go outside, and live on Doritos and Mountain Dew. Some gamers live up to this stereotype, so it’s not completely unreasonable.

The best way to counter this perception is to let her get to know you before mentioning gaming. Once she knows you’re not gross, and DO have other interests, gaming is seen as a hobby (as it should be) and not a red flag.

I have wildly diverse hobbies, so I usually manage to mention something that people around me find weird. Gaming is one of them, and since I am not just your age but also female, I have received tons of strange comments over the years. At least my being somewhat fluid in English isn't making me stand out anymore!

I think computer-related activities are seen different by our age group since we didn't exactly grow up with it, or at least most of us didn't. I know I was already a teenager when my parents bought us kids a computer, and that one needed inputs in BASIC and was textbased only. And while several of my classmates had similar experiences plus parents who insisted this was useful to know for our futures (and boy, where they right!), most of us still preferred to spent our time elsewhere. I see the difference in my kids, who grew up with not only computers and related technology, but also the internet. My son occasionally played board games via an internet platform by the time he was five (under supervision, of course), and as such, video games are much more part of daily life for that generation.

In my eyes, the decades-long discussion on when to give your child his/her first mobile phone has similar roots: We were used to a slower pace of life, that as a child you carry a few coins so that you can call your parents from a pay phone in an emergency, and otherwise you had to be at home at a specified time. Play dates with school mates were discussed in person at school, and so forth. Our children are dealing with far faster pace, discussion with class mates only occasionally take place eye-to-eye, and their schedules have become much more complex and fluid. Also, they grow up knowing everybody and anybody carries a phone in their pocket, and of course they want the same. Technology is integrated into their lifes from the start, and that means gaming is far more acceptable as a pastime.

From my parents, my wife, and her parents I definitely got a, "Oh you still play games, like you're a kid. That's cute." vibe. But they we're pretty accepting once they realized it wasn't some hold over phase from being a teenager and a legitimate hobby with a community that increases technical knowledge, too.

That being said I still feel like a kid in one respect. You know that meme, where you're playing an online game and your mom comes in and says "Pause it and come to dinner." I get similar comments from my wife. And she'll get annoyed sometimes. Like, "I needed you help on something but I guess your game is more important." But I just sunk 45 mins of effort into a match of CS:GO, my rank is on the line which I've spent a lot more time on, it's actually pretty rude to ask me to drop that because you want the trash out. Not to mention I'm tanking my teammates ranks. Like if my hobby was soccer, you wouldn't walk out onto the pitch during a game holding everyone up and expect me to have a conversation about repainting the bathroom. But because they can't see the game, they don't get it.

So in that respect it can be difficult as an adult. You do have more responsibilities and relationships you need to maintain. So you need to be clear about setting aside time for your hobby. Communicate well with those in your life about it and what you need from them.

Depending on the person, it's not acceptable at any age. However, why would you want to be with someone so judgmental? It's easy to be accepting of hobbies other than your own if you're a decent person. After all, it's not like you would have all of your hobbies in common with your significant other, right?

I think there are some people who get out of touch due to things like kids or work and it was just seen as something you grow out of. But I think people generally have more of a work/life balance now. And they also realize that you can play games with kids when they are old enough.

I know for me personally, what will most likely happen is that I will always love and cherish video games as an artform no matter what. What will change is the amount of time I have to play.

As long as you are still enjoying gaming. Keep going!

I don't think there "must" be an age cutoff where people are supposed to stop playing - instead, there's an age cutoff for where people didn't grow up with or have access to computers or gaming.

I was born right on the cusp of video games moving from niche nerd shit and becoming relatively mainstream. I can see that there's a clear gap between friends who game and friends who don't that nearly directly ties to whether or not they played games as a kid. A lot of the time for my generation, that's a socioeconomic division more than anything else. Computers were expensive as a kid, so most of my friends who grew up poor found other interests in childhood and grew up to be adults who don't really play games. The kids I grew up around whose families were more well-off have continued gaming as adults. Maybe less, maybe different games; but in many ways it's like asking what age someone is supposed to outgrow "having hobbies".

The older someone is today the less likely it is they had access to games and gaming, and often the more intimidating they find learning about computers and gaming - and the more time they've had to find some other hobby that they find compelling.

There definitely is a thing in the dating market where some people can be particularly judgmental about gaming. Personally, I've found that is loudest and largest for some of the more ... "serial" daters I know, who have found themselves in relationships with lots of different people and have found that gaming, or identifying as a "gamer" tends to correlate with other bigger issues. There's also the side concern when something that's big in your life isn't something they can relate to - a little like the ultra-fan Sports Dudes where all of every game day will always be booked off for watching the games with the boys.

I think in regards to the dating market, it's less that anyone needs to "grow out of" gaming, and more that adults are more expected to have a mature relationship with their hobbies, gaming included. And given that there are negative connotations about degenerate adult gamers not really grown up, that may be something to keep in mind regarding how you present that hobby and how you talk about your relationship with it.

I’m closer to 40 than 30, and I play video games basically every day. My spouse is super supportive. The only thing that’s changed is that I don’t play PC games unless it’s on my steam deck, because I already spend too much time at a desk working. But I have a PS5 that I finally bought a racing wheel for, and Ive been logging tons of hours on TOTK.

Basically, find someone who appreciates you and your hobbies. Being a gamer isn’t a bad one, despite what those of us that grew up adjacent to Gen X might think.

It's becoming more accepted. I have a few friends in their 40s who are the biggest gamers I know. You may be on the edge of what might be seen as an "acceptable " age, but it is very common for adults. I can see how dating might bring out the judgement in some people, but you shouldn't have to repress that part of yourself, especially since you do it with your kids. As it becomes more and more common many people won't stop doing something they loved doing their whole lives.

I think the time to stop playing games is when you're dead. Until then, nope. No cut off age. Why stop doing the things you enjoy. You should be free and comfortable doing anything you enjoy as long as it doesn't negatively impact on anybody else's life.

Posts like this remind me of the Twilight Zone episode Time Enough At Last, in which a man who loves to read gets knocked out and wakes up after the world has been devastated by hydrogen bombs. The entire episode leading up to this had most of the characters chastising the protagonist for being a "reader," who spends all of his time reading "doggerel" such as, wait for it, David Copperfield. Perhaps this was a genuine attitude held, if perhaps not as extremely, by people in the early or middle parts of the 20th century before television was truly ubiquitous, who looked at reading as frivolous or immature entertainment. But my point is that you're facing a cultural attitude that will probably shift more and more in favor of inclusiveness as time goes on. Almost all women in their 30s that I know either play video games themselves or just uncritically accept that other people play video games for fun. I can see why women in their 40s might be less amenable to it. I don't have anything to add other than that you're both ahead of the curve and a victim of the times.

I'm 33/m and also dating. From my experience, women my age vary around attitudes to video games but generally appreciate that it's a valid form of entertainment alongside movies and TV. I don't think it's an age thing as much as a generation thing - nowadays they're part of popular culture whether you're into them or not, so most people up to mid-30s grew up around them.

I'm over 40 and still game with my husband and kids. It's a normal part of our lives, and it's fairly limited when our kids (all 10 and under) are awake.

However, I have seen many, many posts over the years in various mom spaces about husbands and fathers putting gaming before their families. Coming home from work and going straight to the console 5 days a week. Using their paid time off to no life AAA releases while their wives had to use theirs on sick kids. Spending "his" money upgrading the gaming rig while putting the stay at home spouse or lower earner on a such a strict budget she couldn't afford clothes or haircuts. Exploding at their kids for being interrupted during online game sessions in the middle of the afternoon. These are extreme examples, but I've seen them all more than once. If that's the lived experience of the women you are meeting, I can see why you'd get an unenthusiastic response to the hobby.

Def no acceptable age as in videogames are great for any age.

I am 45, so I understand what you are talking about. The issue is not strictly age. One does not simply age out of video games. I think the issue is just that our particular age group and generation is sort of on the dividing line between two extremes. On one extreme are those that are older than us have never played video games because they didn't exist when they were kids. My older sister is just old enough that she never played video games because as they were created, they were created for kids my age and younger and therefore she had no interest. To her, they will always be kid things even though they are now developed to be appealing for all ages. On the other extreme are those a lot younger than us where basically everyone plays video games. Not very many of the younger generation gives up entirely on video games.

I predict that in 30 years, video games will be popular in nursing homes and retirement homes whereas currently, no one in that age group has much interest at all. By that time, the whole population will have been exposed to video games their whole life and that will make all the difference.

In the current oldest generation there is not much stigma to deal with because none of them had video games growing up, so there is very little interest. And in the youngest generation, there is very little stigma because everyone plays video games. Meanwhile, we will always be part of the generation where only some of us kids played video games - mostly boys, and mostly seen as the nerds if we stuck with it.

It might be an age thing - I'm 32, game as a hobby, and work in software. 80% of my coworkers play games to some extent, and most are in their twenties to mid thirties.

But when I used to work in healthcare, I think only a few of my coworkers shared the hobby.

Generally, I think the younger the generation is, the more acceptable and "normal" gaming is. It's not a guarantee, but it's definitely more common.

Edit: I'd just be yourself and do as you like. There's definitely people out there who share your hobby. Some of the older members of a long-standing guild I'm a part of are in their 50's or retired. I will say that the gender ratio skews mostly male for older gamers though. The women I know who are interested in games are all sub 40 (this is just a personal observation, your results may vary)

I'm a 47-year-old female gamer.

I'm with you—I'm not going to allow peer pressure to get to me, but it's obvious that people believe it's childish. Fuck 'em. I think it's a better hobby than mindlessly watching TV, for sure.

Until I see grown men stopping caring about sports I don’t think there’s some magical cut off. It’s the same shit, like what you enjoy fuck the rest

200; It's pretty hard to play if you're dead

Anyone who thinks differently is not for you. People can do almost whatever they want for fun, as long as it's legal. Labeling someone childish because they like something is stupid; what am I going to do, drink all day, go to bars, hike, travel, play sports, do n'th paid activity, etc? Some people have the time, money or health that allows or disallows them to do these things, and some people do or don't have the interest. Tons of people enjoy watching tv shows. Are we supposed to grow out of that too? By that logic, we shouldn't enjoy anything we did as kids and just do things only relegated to adults.

Id say most people regardless of when they were born think like this unless they themselves play games. It's more socially acceptable amongst the younger generation right now (e.g. college graduates) and probably because they're still considered young. Kids have more free time than adults and the barrier to entry for them is low. Parents often see their kids playing games and in genral have a negative attitude towards them for consuming time. Id say as people go into their 30s and 40s its considered less acceptable because societal expectations are that people will work and get married and have kids by then, and they'd have less time for solo activities. Going to the bar while having young kids or other activities is less acceptable. As kids get older their parents have more time for fun, but playing games is seen as childish because they either see their kids playing or because its something from their own childhood and other ventures that cost money like travel are now available to them when they werent as kids

I'm 63, a woman, and I play games. <shrug>

I'll be 59 this year and have been gaming since Pong. They'll pry my controller from my cold, dead fingers. Also, I'm a woman as is the circle I play with, who are also all older women (45+). We do exist and couldn't give a fuck about what society thinks about it.

Better gaming than just being a potato watching TV every spare minute with no other outlet.

Gaming's been shown to help prevent dementia because it keeps the brain active.

Consider that the women that you've been trying to date that don't appreciate gaming just aren't the right partner for you.

is it something to do with the progression of games into popular culture and people born after, say, 1986 will not see it as unacceptable?

I think that's exactly it. Gen X was the first generation to experienced playing video games for their entire lives. Video games, as with all new things, tended to be poo-poo'ed by the older generation and as such, many Gen Xers elected not to get in to video gaming.

I think if you were of any younger generation, you would find responses on dates to be quite different.

"what is the age cut off for socially acceptable fun having" is what I read. Do what you enjoy and anyone saying you shouldn't do X, or you are too old to do Y aren't the type of people I associate with. Just turned 30 and I never plan to stop.

I don't think there's one. Still, I find it a bit funny thinking of myself and my partner sitting next to each other, each on our own gaming PC, once we're old (or should I say older, yikes the 90s really were almost 30 years ago...)

Considering the popularity of Gaming Grandma, I think it's just the stereotypes. Until recently, even social media was a nerd thing that brought out thoughts of smelly social rejects not respecting social spaces.

The internet is only just now not for social rejects, gaming being labeled for kids and something you outgrow seems to be an individual choice brought on ( often as I see) to peer pressure to stop in the first place.

I'd say there's not a cut off, people just have some really shit opinions about things they should just stfu about. I grew up in the South and I abandoned trying to follow the minds of judgemental folks a long time ago. Half the time they're just jealous you live your life and they haven't managed to keep their personality after getting married and having kids. 😂

You hit it yesterday. A squad has been dispatched to retrieve your computer. I'm sorry.

I’m in agreement with most here. There doesn’t need to be a cutoff age. My dad is in his 70s and is super excited for the new Final Fantasy coming out.

It took me a minute to come back around to gaming because, I thought being mature meant having different hobbies, or suppressing my desire to indulge in “childish” things. Hell, I was that dude that bailed on my friends who still played dungeons and dragons because we were supposed to be growing into mature adults and mature adults don’t play pretend.

Now I’m like, love the things you love.

Unabashedly.

It can be a little knife to your soul when you meet someone that you think you like and they belittle something you’re into, but, in my book, properly decent people don’t do that. Decent people don’t shit on you for being excited about something or for being interested in a hobby (unless your “hobby” is something that harms people or your environment). I like to think that decent people will try to understand what you like about the things you like.

It takes a lot for a person to be vulnerable and say, “this is a thing I like.” People who are worth your time will respect that vulnerability.

I’m impressed you can keep up with the kids playing Valo and Apex, I get dogwalked in most FPS games because I’m a slow old man. Lol.

When you get bored lol

I'm a 51 year old woman who plays video games (including ESO, PC/EU). We exist. If there is some sort of arbitrary cutoff age when I'm supposed to stop gaming, I will be steadfastly ignoring that "rule", if I haven't already.

Hmm I don't think there is a cutoff necessarily but it doesn't surprise me many people currently in their late 40s wouldn't be much into them. I'm a 37/F myself and most of my friends play video games, but then again I'm part of a crowd of childless nerdy types. I guess it all just depends on the type of person you're hanging out with and what their lifestyle is all about. Women who play video games and are currently in their late 40s probably live a more alternative lifestyle in general.

There are heaps of old people (60+) who play Elite Dangerous and Stardew Valley. Never stop gaming just because of your age!