this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 125 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Pretty sure they will find a way to look good on paper while still doing more harm than good

[–] goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 57 points 1 year ago

"In order to adequately test our new carbon capture system, obviously, we had to dump a couple trillion more tons of carbon into the atmosphere. Which, yeah, granted, does make it all that much more upsetting that the system didn't actually work."

[–] TimLovesTech@badatbeing.social 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They'll all buy credits, problem solved!

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can we rebrand normal taxation as Non Fungible Energy Credits??

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[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 8 points 1 year ago

"We changed the legal definition of carbon and have saved the planet"

They already do! It's called carbon credits

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They will probably overdo it, probably with iron fertilisation of the ocean, and start a fucking ice age.

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I bet they're too dumb and poor to even know how to remove carbon from the atmosphere. Only people with really big penises and lots of money know how to remove carbon from the atmosphere. Oh, well...

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

They can't even remove micro plastics from the environment and even my peasant testicles can do that

[–] Daze@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (13 children)

Step 1 - Take carbon from atmosphere

Step 2 - Compress carbon into diamonds

Step 3 - ???

Step 4 - Profit!

[–] dogsoahC@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

Swap steps 1 and 3.

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They'd still do more harm

[–] beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They still haven't decided the pissing match over who can profit the most off pumping the atmosphere full of CO2.

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

They will urinate us to the stone age.

[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Reading the word 'billionaires' and then 'removing ... from our atmosphere', my brain wasn't computing.

'Billionaires removing oxygen to sell back to us' would make sense.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Removing oxygen from billionaires isn't the worst idea either. Maybe by sending them down to the Titanic or off to Mars.

[–] DevCuber@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

That's a doctor who episode

[–] xenspidey@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, because someone would remove all the carbon and all the plants world die.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

imagine atmospheric carbon becoming a delicacy. fuck....

[–] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Gotta sneak it in the side... let's try "who can build the largest/most diamonds from atmospheric carbon".

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Oh. It's a thing. I thought it was an onion type site for a few moments.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's a start. Honestly, industrial grade diamonds - the small ones with poor optical quality that go into abrasives, saws - would be even better. And that would side-step the elephant in the room: upsetting the DeBeers diamond cartel.

That said, we need a staggering amount of renewable energy to pull this off, but it's doable. And as far as sequestration goes, the only tech we have that's anywhere near as good is turning CO2 into plastic and permanently burying it in landfills. That's how important this is.

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I think biochar production is pretty effective and scalable. Check this company out: https://bioforcetech.com/

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But then the line might go up more slowly for a while! Everything must be sacrificed to the line!

[–] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 year ago

Maybe it’ll be a new “line go up” metric and replace the existing line with a better one..?

Wishful thinking, I know.

[–] masquenox@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

No, it wouldn't.

They'd come up with dodgy and dangerous schemes that would probably just cause more damage. And that would just be before they found a way to monetize it all...

Does the liberals on here not have the foggiest clue how capitalism works?

[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Absolutely! Look at what happened to Mr I Want To Go See The Titanic Personally. That was with his own life on the line! Not to mention his teenage son! Please god don't trust the rest of our fucking lives to these maniacs.

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[–] Kekzkrieger@feddit.org 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

There is only one chance to end world hunger, as soon as its solved nobody else can do it! Imagine the prestige!

[–] hswolf@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Sadly, even that wouldn't work, they would just start sabotaging each other and no one would accomplish it, and once again the suffering would fall on the impoverished

[–] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 year ago

We already could end world hunger if we stopped feeding so much of our crops to other animals https://awellfedworld.org/issues/hunger/feed-vs-food

[–] dexa_scantron@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Neal Stephenson wrote a great novel about this. Check out Termination Shock.

[–] BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

I'd rather see a posting match over who can pay the most taxes.

[–] pivot_root@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Elon, probably: "You're all trying to undo your carbon emissions while I'm making electric cars to lower my carbon footprint. If it's not clear who’s the winner, it's because you're too focused on being a pedo."

[–] profdc9@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Depending on where you live, that may be the best option.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 5 points 1 year ago

They'd find a way to fuck it up

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 4 points 1 year ago

That's just going to take resources away from other things. Such as keeping fossil fuel plants open as clean power gets diverted to carbon removal.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

No help. Only hurt.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 3 points 1 year ago

They are now confused. How will that increase their meaningless high score number?

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 year ago
[–] h3mlocke@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

New contest! See which billionair can remove the most billionaires from the earth. Last one standing gets to live. Ok, well maybe at least a movie.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 3 points 1 year ago

Make it the new currency.

[–] Reverendender@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They came up with a device to do this at scale, however it IS powered by orphan blood.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

That's fine, we can start with the oldest billionaires and work our way down.

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