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Your story basically mimics mine. Guitar and drums, always wanted to play with others but at 50 years old, I jam every day by myself at home.
Other than about 6 months in my 20s, I've not played music with others. I want to but I don't interact with others and the thought of trying to is overwhelming.
I hope you overcome your aversion. The 6 months I did jam with others was magical.
Back on R*ddit, I actually managed to connect with a few R*dditors (under a different username tho) through the /r/BedroomBands sub. Looks like it's still active. As far as I'm aware, we don't have anything like that on Lemmy yet.
From my experience in music, drummers are always in demand, especially if you can record your kit, even badly; real kit with sample replacement always beats an electric kit, which itself beats programmed drums. (And programming drums from scratch is so boring, speaking from experience.) So I think you'll find people very quickly if you mention it.
As far as my music chops go, I play guitar and bass, mainly metal, but I'm really more of a producer. Unfortunately, I had to stop taking clients from R*ddit because I had to focus on school. Now I'm living with my grandmother and parents so I can't really do music stuff without headphones, so I'm kinda out of commission for a while.
ps - I'm pretty socially anxious and autistic, so making friends takes me extra effort and time.
Me too. It took me months to build up the courage to make my first post. But it was one of the best things I ever did, and I miss that part of my life dearly.
What kind of music do you make?
I mostly improv blues or stuff like Rob Martino (no idea what this genre would be called) on the guitar. With drums, I play along to any type of rock.
Look for some local open mic nights. Even if you're not playing, the audience will mostly be the people who are.