What's up with this update?

I can only scroll for 2 pages. When I hit back from a thread, it always takes me to the first page. This shit sucks

Edit: I can only see one page!?

Trans megathreads popping off

I've been making new friends and that's been nice

I don't pass, but people are complimenting my hair. Today a cashier asked me for my haircare routine, which was very flattering

Shout out to all my autistic trans peeps!

ranting about my flatmate.

I WASN'T LYING WHEN I SAID BIGGER AND MORE PRIDEFUL THAN EVER BEFORE

I have to get a safe and routine medical procedure (that I've had before) done today, but I'll need to be put under anesthesia. This is a really huge trigger for my anxiety, so I'm really scared. Tbh, I want to just cancel it and run. Could hardly sleep last night because I was so panicked.

Tomorrow, when this is all done, I think I want to tell my wife my new name and "officially" start transition

I lived

Which means... I didn't die a man! Transition time!

okay, let me ask a question:

what does being visibly trans mean to you? like, emotionally. do you think it's important? is it something that you're comfortable with?

i am, in my opinion, pretty visibly trans doing a pretty visible thing and the only time i really remember that is when people talk about how it's important. i make a mental note of basically every time i've positively affected a queer person doing my stuff and those moments are some of the few things i actually keep in my memory when i need motivation. the best thing about being trans is the sense of community, even if not all of us hold exactly the same values. we're all on this ride together, for better or worse.

i think visibility is important too, i just don't see living my life as some sort of project or praxis. i'm doing the only thing i've ever cared about, as the woman i was meant to be, and i'm not gonna let anything stop me, especially not a transphobe. it feels like cognitive dissonance and it's progressed to the point where i literally forget i'm trans in public until i'm in a situation where i am acutely aware of it, either by someone mentioning it, being around another trans person, or being painfully, obviously alone in a sea of cis people. how the fuck do i keep forgetting a pillar of my existence despite actively being dysphoric almost every day? i'm torn between my identity being a foundational part of my personality and just wanting to forget about it when i'm out. i think passing fully would be great but i don't know who i'd be if i lost that thread tugging at my heart when i'm waiting in line at the store or whatever.

maybe that was all rambling and i'm doing my best not to give away too much info but it is something i'd like to get some perspective on. would you rather pass fully and live your life without any of the hard parts of being trans or would you rather live with the hardship and be a beacon for other trans/queer people to know that we're existing in the world and they can too?

Today was a busy day for me. I finally got around to properly celebrating my mousy wife's birthday after having to put it on hold due to pain in the surgical area last week. I made her a lemon cake with lemon mousse between the layers and a lemon buttercream on the outside. It was fantastic, but I need to improve my baking skills as it wasn't quite up to my astronomical standards =w= We also had ham, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob. Very standard and easy stuff, but still delicious no matter how you look at it. Twas a good day even if I am exhausted out of my mind.

I know that seems like a random thing to talk about in here, but it brings me gender euphoria and I really don't know why. It's probably because it's what my mother used to do for myself and my sisters when we were younger and I'm emulating her. Seems like the most reasonable explanation

shout out to being trans, love that shit

For example, I myself realized after coming out to my wife that all of my previous dating attempts had absolutely been sapphic in nature. My first order had always been to become good friends with them. Dates would never be labeled as dates because we would just sit and talk somewhere, hanging out together. Consequently, several of my relationships ended simply because I was too scared to make the first move out of destroying the friendship. I would spend half my waking day thinking about them and wanting to be around them, not out of sexual lust, but out of personal infatuation. My first girlfriend straight up told me on our first date that I was unlike any man she’d ever dated because I enjoyed talking instead of just trying to get physical. She broke up with me two months later because I wasn’t as assertive as she wanted from a partner. Genderdysphoria.fyi

That's lesbian dating?! God damn that's what I've always thought I'd want from dating. Literally me irl. Are we really sure this is a trans thing??

Shoutout to the voices, no one is suspicious of me saying nonsense while voice training because I already say nonsense with weird voices all the time.

god she's so great, i love her. if only she was a remotely playable card

holy shit was this part of my thighs this squishy before?? i think my thighs are a little squishier

had a really nice therapy session today, lot of crying though

we are only 2 comments behind news mega

My husband and I started discussing how we're going to tell our parents about me. It's stressful but I really feel like we are a united front.

I think I finally found a good summer style for myself. Hopefully we can get some spendable income by summer's end so I can actually look good this year. Then again, I should be careful with top surgery. My damned bust is already pushing plus sizes and I don't need to completely invalidate my entire wardrobe in one fell swoop.

Still need to figure out what my autumn/winter style is. I'll have to actually put thought into that before those months roll around.

Update at 3hrs, I like Celeste, it turns out making Super Meat Boy less slippery and less "boy" was what we call a pro gamer move. cool soundtrack, I like the story vibes even if I dunno how I feel about a classic challenge-platformer sandwiched into a narrative game, and I like that it's an asskicker but with an approachable learning curve. Collecting strawberries so I'm not left with nothing to show for my spanked, red ass

Posting to make up for downtime. We need to get to 600 this time.

It's been 8 months since I changed my pronouns what. I thought I had only been thinking about trans stuff for 4 months.

All dressed up, nowhere to be, ever

I could rot, let's do it together

Yoooooo she jus like me fr fr!! I lied, Fishmonger fucks. Hits different the fourth time

ATTENTION EVERYONE! THIS IS NO LONGER SITE PINNED, BUT DO NOT GIVE UP! WE CAN STILL END THIS PRIDE MONTH WITH A BANG!

i heard somewhere that "healhy" fats are good for helping tits grow. my roommates came back from the food bank the other day with like 8 goddamn pounds of almonds so I'm seeing if I can turn those into tiddies

Good morning