A community to Ask Men questions and discuss any and all issues relating to them.
Unlocking Perspectives, Advice, and Empowerment for Men Everywhere.
Rules
Follow the rules of lemmy.world, which can be found here.
Additionally:
Notes
The title of your post should contain the actual question being asked.
The rules are not meant to be exhaustive and may be modified/extended should if deemed necessary.
Would you like to help with moderating AskMen? Send a PM to the top mod.
After I moved out from my mom's house insecurities are a piece of cake. My confidencev just sky rocketed.
Before, I didn't realise I was insecure, I though I was normal. I just thought that it was common place to be put down and have everything I do contested because it wasn't done the right way. Now I'm married and I won't fall for these shenanigans.
I was insecure about a lot up until about my last year of college. I didn't really overcome anything directly, but I did find a few things I could be proud of. I was able to look at myself and say I had a few things going for me, and so I began to like myself as a person, which I hadn't been able to say before. I still have most of the stuff I'm insecure about but it just doesn't affect me because I focus on the things I'm proud of.
Once you achieve that inner confidence, I believe it will display itself for others too, and you'll feel like less people notice or think about the things you're insecure about.
thanks for the story, give some insights...
I got more confidence when I had some professional success and I stopped caring as much what other people think (used to overthink a lot)
I am fat, balding and have psoriasis, I am 36 years old, have never been in a relationship.
Up untill I was 28 or so I let my insecurities about my looks dictate what I did or didn't do.
But when I realized that the only kind of excersize I have been able to stick with was swimming and started to go regularly, I realized that I should just stop caring and focus on myself, so I did.
I realized that I didn't have the energy to deal with it, I used to try and suck in my gut when at the public pool, but eh, I realized it it better to just act mature and go and deal with it.
I also know how to dress fine, I obviously don't fantastic due to being fat, but I do dress well with long trousers and button down shirts, I have a decent sense of what colours work together (navy blue shirts are allways a good colour, in general, dark and pale colors works for everyone), and that does work great!
I am balding, have been for many years now, and have accepted it, I don't shave my head but I go for a 6mm buzz cut once a month, that is fantastic since it makes going to the barbers increadibly easy!
I have also worn glasses since I went to daycare, and have upgraded my style there as well, I used to go to a cheap optician with decent style frames, but now that I can afford it, I go to a more expensive optician and get frames from Lindbergs and sunglasses from Persol. They look fantastic!
As for my main current concern, my psoriasis, I got it a few years ago, it got treated well with creams, but it never goes away, my doctor prescribed me some pills to deal with it, but I read that they contain stereoids, and once you start with them you can't just quit cold turkey.
That is an absolute no go for me, I am terrified of medicin that can mess with my mind and can't be quit when I want to.
So for the last two years I have simply not dealt with it ofter than trying to be out in the sun when I can.
If you don't feel safe with taking your (I expect it'd be cortisone) pills, ask your doctor about it. Steroids aren't inherently harmful, and the kind used in these cases definitely not addicting. The body actually produces a decent amount on its own in different varities, testosterone for instance.
The reason that professional athletes get checked for even these types is that higher doses can have performance-enhancing effects. If you are a professional athlete, probably ask someone in the field about it, even they can get excemptions if there's a (proven) underlying medical condition.
Oh, I know that, I am not too worried about addiction, I am worried about mood swings, and not being able to stop taking the medicine when I want.
I have gone through a very long term low intencity depression, and a big part of what has allowed me to deal with it is keeping my mind in check.
I have allways hated feeling out of control, in my 36 years, I have never been drunk, at most buzzed.
This means that messing with stereoids and other substances that intreacts with my mind is something I am very reluctant towards, especially if I can't just stop.
The kinds of medication (cortisone) used in these cases aren't mind altering. If this problem is something you're actually bothered by, ask your doctor specifically to explain what the medication does, what kinds of side effects are common and to follow up on it (I could too, but my time is limited).
At the very least consider it. I'd hate for somebody to be suffering from a preventable illness unneccessarily.
*There's always an asterisk, and that is that low down in the side effects depression is listed. However, this is the case even for common medication such as paracetamol or ibuprofen. Suffering from disease is also a potential cause of depression (yeah life sucks sometimes), usually with higher incidence.
Yeah, I will check with them in the autumn as it gets worse at that time.
I think it was two years or so since I last visited them, and didn't have time to ask them about it.