this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 52 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Going to need world peace on my desk by tomorrow morning.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago

The kind of memo that gets the boss an upper decker.

Going to need world ~~peace~~ subjugation on my desk by tomorrow morning.

[–] Wheaties@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago

just a few threads to tie up and then history can be done for good

[–] GenXen@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago

But he's getting the crap kicked out of him by Rumsfeld -- satellite conferences all the time: "I need more intelligence. I need to know what's going on. What is this thing you're calling an insurgency?"

"When are you going to get this thing wrapped up?" is the phrase I've heard Rumsfeld use. "When are you going to get this thing wrapped up?" Well, sometimes things don't get wrapped up. Sometimes crises last a long time. And the key is not to end the crisis, but to manage the crisis. I think that's what the U.S. military has moved to now in Iraq in 2006. - source

[–] Kumikommunism@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

Please help. I'm killing a lot of people, and I got a lot of people asking questions.

[–] HexBroke@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Thanks Don, I have the team working on a range of proposals as we speak

We've put together an Axis of Evil prioritisation matrix deck that we'll have to you by COB for POTUS and we've got a call with key defense chief execs at 3pm because I'm trying to secure an exit

Sincerely
Assistant Under-Secretary Ghoul

Email to team sent 12.29 pm

Hi,

SECDEF needs slides on Libya, Pakistan, Iraq, Iran etc. asap. Use what we have already put together on each of these with a new intro setting out which to prioritise (what we're already doing).

I'm out of the office from 2pm, so need this by 1.30 at the latest

Sincerely
Assistant Under-Secretary Ghoul

[–] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

"issues with various countries" lmao

[–] Shyfer@ttrpg.network 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is this a real memo? If so, what's the context? Either way, it's hilarious.

[–] sloth@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

and we need it fast.

[–] GladimirLenin@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This reads like a comedy skit

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

SNL is actually okay.