this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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Couldn't have happened to a better guy.

all 36 comments
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[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 60 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can we also liquidate Alex Jones while we're at it?

[–] space_comrade@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Preferably literally. Turn him into fertilizer and feed him to soybean plants.

[–] Torenico@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago

We should turn him into some sort of chemical that can be expelled by airplanes, leaving a trail of alex jones particles hanging in the air

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oh that's exactly what I meant by my phrasing

There's lots of woodchippers out there

Or we could just get a really big blender

I'll do it by hand. For free!

[–] anonochronomus@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Feet first.

[–] jack@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

this dude is definitely made mostly of prions

[–] Outdoor_Catgirl@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Nah I don't want brain force in my beans

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

~~Soylent Green is people!~~

Soybean Green is Alex Jones!

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

1.5 billion in damages lmao gonna have to hand it to the judge on this one che-laugh

Though I wonder how much cash the families will see

Yeah that’s the kind of damages where it’s not even a real number it’s just “every drop of value you produce for the rest of your life”

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

Oh shit, I read this as "million"

[–] iByteABit@hexbear.net 41 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Proletarization, get owned LIB packwatch

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

itll be like edp445 trying to find work

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

alex-no-supplements "Listen Kid, I used to wage war with dark forced way more powerful than you, demonic hell beasts in walking flesh bags, literal baby eaters, 5th dimensional subatomic angels seeking to reap the Apocalypse, I..."

avgn "Alex, I just need you to show up on time so we can get these McChickens prepped! Show up late again, and I'm going to have to fire you! And for fucks sake put a shirt on!"

[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago

Dude cried the other day about having to sell his ranch.

Whether or not they were crocodile tears are irrelevant, I want to see this pig squirm.

susie-laugh

Harassing sandy hook families is one of the most disgusting things I can think of and he deserves to be beaten to death in the streets for that alone.

[–] Leon_Frotsky@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago

Infowars.gov when sicko-pog

[–] Yor@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Ahaha most deserved L bye

Get fuck'd, kulak!

[–] RION@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

who's gonna buy? wrong answers only (or right answers if you want idc)

If I was anywhere nearby, I would definitely attend some auctions for the camera gear.

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

crab-party boy it'd be an awful shame if he were to slip into a downward spiral

He's been on one for a looooooooooong time, comrade.

[–] space_comrade@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Get fucked bozo.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

they're liquidating our asses to turn the frogs gay!!

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Good lol, hope he dies too

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

You really love to see it.

[–] Torenico@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If he had pursued a voice acting career instead he would have been quite liked, man's got a great voice.

But no, he became a massive piece of shit instead. One must not forget the gigantic damage he single handedly caused to the victims of Sandy Hook and their families. For that thing alone he deserves to be executed, there's no salvation from that.

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago
[–] Grandpa_garbagio@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

he's just going to start a podcast and make the same amount of money with less overhead lol

[–] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He already tried that like 3 months ago actually.