...I've had sunstroke in the arctic and a swim in Timbuktu

I've seen unicorns in Burma and a yeti in Nepal

And I've danced with ten-foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall

I've met the king of China and the working Yorkshire miner

But I've never met a nice Israeli

[Chorus] No, he's never met a nice Israeli

And that's bad hasbara, man

'Cause we're a bunch of settler colonialists

Who burn down villages

I once got served in Woolies after less than four week's wait

I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late

I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool

I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school

I've met a normal merman, and a fairly modest German

But I've never met a nice Israeli

[Chorus] No, he's never met a nice Israeli

And that's bad hasbara, man

'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers

Who live stream massacres

I've had a close encounter of the 22nd kind

That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind

I've got directory inquiries after less than forty rings

I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings

I've seen a flying pig in a quite convincing wig

But I've never met a nice Israeli

[Chorus] No, he's never met a nice Israeli

And that's bad hasbara, man

'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant imperialists

With no sense of shame

I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire

At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire

I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies

I met a man in Kathmandu who claimed to have two willies

I've had a nice pot noodle, but I've never had a poodle

And I've never met a nice Israeli

[Chorus] No, he's never met a nice Israeli

And that's not bloody surprising, man

Because we've never met one either

Except for Ilan Pappé, and he's been detained in Detroit

Yes, he's quite a nice Israeli

And he's hardly ever killed anyone

And he's not build any settlements at all

That's why we try to put him prison