this post was submitted on 24 May 2024
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[–] casmael@lemm.ee 110 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I once got frisked at the o2 centre in London going into a comedy show and the security guard straight up grabbed my penis. We made eye contact like yup, that’s a penis

[–] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 116 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Haha the same thing happened to me, at Chicago O'Hare airport.

Before they searched me the man said I had a "suspicious package" in my "groin area". I'll never forget the man's face as he grabbed a handful of dick. Eye contact as well, it was so romantic (probably not for him, but I still had a semi so...)

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 58 points 1 year ago

Lmfao the parenthesized text makes this absolute gold

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 year ago

"...and when you're a TSA Agent, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab em by the dick! You can do anything."

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago

"so are you going to finish what you started?"

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS"

[–] veroxii@aussie.zone 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?"

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is democracy manifest!"

[–] i_am_hiding@aussie.zone 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"That's a nice headlock, sir! I see that you know your judo well!"

[–] DickFiasco@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

And you sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?

[–] Jakdracula@lemmy.world 80 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] can@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 year ago

It's a good thing I posted it here

[–] Johanno@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago

Soda can? erection? Same thing!

[–] jaspersgroove@lemm.ee 51 points 1 year ago (2 children)

He wouldn’t have caught such a beating if the erection hadn’t gotten even larger during the beating.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago

"stop resisti- wait wtf STOP ENJOYING IT"

[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago

THE PISTOL IS GETTING BIGGER, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

[–] Omgarm@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

God gave you the boner that got your ass beat.

[–] h3mlocke@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Nah, that was Waluigi