I was digging through my digital library and I realised I can't name a single novel with a nonbinary transfem protag. I can name several that have ✨ uncertain definition ✨ en bees, or nonbinary transmascs, but where my fem enbees at??? If you have any cool books I could plug this gaping hole with, pls hmu and I will penicl stuff in.

On a more positive note, loving my new dresses, and I have a couple extremely supportive friends who make me feel very loved 💜 Things will get better :)

Does someone know some text-based ressources for voice training? I know of the youtube channel, but I work better with written instructions. I just have an easier time understanding and internalizing the information when it's written.

Had a very weird encounter this morning with one of the tenants in a neighboring apartment building.

When I have to park on the other side of our block I cut through a neighboring apartment courtyard as a shortcut, this morning I did the same thing, but as I was crossing the alley to get to that courtyard there was a woman pulling out of their parking. She wasn't signaling so I couldn't tell if she was turning left or right so I just kept walking straight. She apparently took offense at this because she immediately got pissed and rolled down her window then started harassing me about how I shouldn't do that, whatever that is, as well as how I shouldn't cut through their courtyard. Fine great whatever I'll stop if it bothers them so much.

I mostly ignored her and just kept walking without stopping, but after I got to my car and before I could pull out she boxed me in and started either recording or taking pictures. I rolled down my window and gave her a little wave and a smile and she started harassing me further about how I'm very rude (I actually try to make the least amount of noise possible when I cut through, as their gates will slam shut if you let them) and how she could have hit me (she clearly saw me and again, didn't signal which way she was going to turn) and how I'm probably the person who has been stealing their packages (I was very confused about this and obviously immediately denied this) and how she's going to tell my apartment complex. Cool great whatever now I have to deal with this later as well as the increased anxiety I'm going to feel about having to park around the area.

But then just as she was starting to drive away she decided to lob a transphobic comment at me.

On one hand how fucking dare she.

On the other hand, I'm full boy mode, like stubble growing in with sweats and a hoodie on. The only possible gender marker was my hair length and style? idk i kinda just tussled it gently after showering this morning and i'm in one of them liberal coastal states where long hair on guys isn't out of place.

How did she know chat?

I partially consider this a win if she read me as some kinda queer femmy boy thing just from my hair and face all things aside.

Also ngl I'm finding it like wildly affirming- my first public, in-person transphobic interaction.

Fic idea:

Egg visits silent Hill. Wakes up in the other world as a woman.

Haunted by manifestations of dysphoria that eventually lead to self acceptance. Themes of fear and sexuality.

Someone get on it. Thank me later.

I have started actually trying out voice training excercises, and have realized that my vibes based approach of just humming music as high as I can without my voice breaking, maybe wasn't that bad after all.

Also imitating the sounds my dog used to make, has given me a bigger vocal range.

I am still going to continue with the actual excercises, but I'll also continue just playing with my voice while having a walk or something. I used to sind a lot as a child, before my voice dropped.

I got told today by my endo that I likely have PMDD (Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder). Considering there’s not a ton of research on the matter, he says it’s hard to say for certain if that’s the case, but will be treating it as such. Hoping that it can be diminished somewhat cause it is so debilitating.

Edit: Added a link for info.

stuck between my urge to look like a cute girl and my urge to look like

helo yes how do you do fellow trans women, i sure do love and enjoy taking my e hormone known as uhhh...

got courage to put pics up on sniffies... great compliments on my t-dick

need to go to girl sleep in my girl bed and have girl dreams. goodnight little trans people in my computer

My biggest problem with buying fem clothes is that when I get home from work all I want to do is put on pajamas and lay around. So I have few pairs of leggings and comfy cute night shirts. But that's not "going out" clothes. And even then, I'm too afraid to go into my own backyard in leggings and a cute shirt.

I did wear leggings and a cute top to one of my therapy sessions because my therapist recommended it, but the anxiety nearly killed me.

Just got back from the military check up, if anyone is wondering, they saw them, but they didn't touch them

pharmacy only gave me some 18 gauge needles. fuck me, that hurt. got a box of 100 needles and syringes on the way from amazon so i'll never have to do that again. FUCK

>lower cypro dose

>become emotionally unhinged & unregulated

is this normal or expected

hey this facial hair stuff kind of fucking sucks. how long do i have to be on hrt before laser/electrolysis keeps it off? or is that not relevant?