this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 68 points 1 year ago (2 children)

reeducation camps for every American. this is not ironic

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 54 points 1 year ago

Gotta start with just plain old education camps

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Who's gonna staff all these camps?

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

Clones of Comrade Xi

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[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 61 points 1 year ago (4 children)

the government should start wholeheartedly recommending unhealthy things so that child-brained Americans do the opposite

[–] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Go back to work, covid is only contagious for 3 days. Masks are no longer required and we will black bag you if you wear one to a protest."

They're already doing this and Americans don't actually care what they say, they just do what they want to. "You can't tell me what to do" only comes out when the government tells them to do the opposite of what they want. When told to do the thing they were already going to do, they just take it as permission to do it to an absurd extreme. It's not oppositional defiance, so reverse psychology doesn't work. It's individualist ideology taken to its logical conclusion.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago

"The government recommends you eat an all meat diet."

Jordan Peterson: "clean your room and eat broccoli, bucko"

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nah that won't work. Chuds have no consistency besides inconsistency, they have a counter-productive sixth sense for this shit. If the government tells them to do shit they don't want to do that's come from the Judaeo-Bolsehvik trans-satanist kabal. If the government tells them to do something they want to do that's coming from the Patriots loyal to Trump within the system. That or they just strategically ignore things they've previously said.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

You're likely correct, it's pure brainworms all the way down

[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

the government should start recommending only healthy things so child-brained Americans continue to do what they're doing now (except worse)

[–] coeliacmccarthy@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago

you fed the chickens arsenic so that you could feed the cows arsenic bird shit (this is why US rice has 3x the arsenic content of Indian/EAsian rice)

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 42 points 1 year ago

The rest of the world as the US kills itself by deliberately infecting every citizen with H5N1: sit-back-and-enjoy

(Sadly it will spread to every country in the world as the US sends out plague missionaries)

[–] jimmyjohnsandwichfive@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why, why does this country have to be like this?

[–] Maoo@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago

Ahem ze death drive eez stronk mit deez ones

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's only a matter of time at this point.

I hope we're lucky enough to get another lockdown.

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

That's fair.

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Before the genocide, TikTok would show me "all natural" type cc (because I would muh debate them in the comments like a dummy).

I remember this one lady that talked about how she would buy raw milk and puppies from an Amish family.

Another lady made an affogatto with raw milk ice cream.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Another lady made an affogatto with raw milk ice cream.

That situation is perfectly darkly hilarious plus it has panache. I'm stealing it.

[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

you can't make an avocado from ice cream. not spinach either

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Can't make an egg without breaking some chickens

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

She also had a new Jersey accent

Edit: I couldn't find that specific TikTok and I don't want to continue browsing the raw milk side of TikTok agony-deep

For your sin of making me go there, in the name of good Samaritanism I gift you this

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLbNA3PM/

I saw it so you have to too

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For a second I was very confused and thought you made an mysterious joke about one of my step-moms who was a Brit.

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Nope. That was her accent.

I'm gonna make a master post of brain rot TikToks I come across

[–] CrackBurger@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes. Unless you have more information, its safe to assume most Amish dog breeders are puppy mills.

[–] Greenleaf@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Amish are known for being pretty terrible to puppies, honestly maybe worse than your standard puppy mill.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

Yup, I personally have my own mortar and pestle to mill my puppies; can't beat that freshness

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago

Well, they just had such consistent and well-received handling of the COVID pandemic that I'm sure this is a temporary setback.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

This is a bizarre version of the streisand effect.

Why are Americans?

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

~~despite~~ because

[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is literally a Portlandia bit

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

I wish we could live in the insufferable "put a bird on it" or "guy obsessed with Pet Sounds engineering techniques" timeline instead, but so do all who live to see such times

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Maybe soon the UK phrase "bits" will enter everyday speech.

CW: pus and blood"What are the little dots?"

"The little dots are the tasty bits. They've got the pus and blood."

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

Steven Universe voice The bits! The bits!

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

I think the pus is there throughout anyway

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

Spread that nicely on some toast dearie, it's a good replacement for lard

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

Praise be to Papa Nurgle, our unholy Plague Lord.

[–] Poison_Ivy@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Tbh the beast in me says "Let Them Die"

The human in me says "This needs to stop before someone dies of something stupid and preventable"

[–] HexBroke@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

The less humans infected with H5N1 the less likely it'll mutate to more easily infect humans

Fortunately it's not the only approach

barbara-pit

[–] macabrett@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As an immunocompromised person it is in my best interest to let you know that mostly they won't die, mostly they'll get people like me killed.

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[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

Tbh the beast in me says "Let Them Die"

That's the neat part about plague rats -- they take everyone else with them

[–] Taser@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 year ago

Remember, you can get tuberculosis from raw milk, and it's contagious through aerosol 👀,

[–] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you have cash on hand, now is the perfect time to hoard Raw milk so you can resell to chuds at well above market value as "pre-cultured" or "aged". Maybe print up a a few thousand "got raw milk" shirts to sell online or something.

[–] HexBroke@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hoard raw milk? Just buy the cheapest stuff you can get and call it raw milk.

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

bottles of ~~melamine slurry~~ milk! get your bottles of ~~melamine slurry~~ milk here!

[–] The_Riddler@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago
[–] QueerCommie@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago
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